Self Development Plan of Action

I Think - Therefore, I Am - Not by Peter Vajda, Ph.D

2008-08-11T14:54:00.000-07:00

I Think - Therefore, I Am - NotBy [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Peter_Vajda,_Ph.D]Peter Vajda, Ph.D

The question beneath the question is: On what basis am I who I think I am?

Picture a motherboard, or a system board - the piece of electronic equipment that runs many electronic and computerized devices. If you've ever seen a motherboard or system board, you'll see it's not flat; rather, there are numerous nodes, diodes, and other small metal and plastic structures soldered to it. These various structures contain all of the programming and commands that allow the computer or electronic device to function.

Now, assume your brain is a motherboard. And, here's another question:

If, when you were born, your motherboard (your brain) were, indeed, completely flat, with no structures containing programming or commands on it, how did it happen that you have the thoughts, beliefs, world views, assumptions, expectations, inferences, biases, and most importantly, the values, you now have; that is, where did all the nodes, diodes and structures on the motherboard you use to navigate life and the world come from?

This is an especially important question if you are someone who considers themselves to be:

A free thinker Spontaneous Independent Open-minded Conscious

A "nobody's gonna tell me how to be..." type of individual

Those of us who have convinced ourselves we have created our own motherboards from scratch would be well-served to perhaps think again - and maybe really think and reflect for the first time.

In our world at work, at home, at play and in relationship, we all have specific beliefs and viewpoints that drive our behaviors.

In other words, we have a set of values and beliefs (nodes, diodes, programming, etc.) that support our stories about how we feel about such things as:

At work: delegation, giving and receiving feedback, vision and mission planning, relating and socializing, honesty, cheating, glass ceilings, intellectual property, hiring and firing, listening, open communication, career, collaborating and competing, affirmative action...

At home: chores, sex, money, fidelity, children, in-laws, cooking and diet, cleaning, organization, trust, exercise, travel, God...

At play: types of games/sports; team vs. individual, cheating, winning and losing, practicing...
In relationship: commitment, honesty, trust, safety, communication, sharing, fun, family, roles, men, women...

The deal is all of our behavior at work, at home, at play and in relationship is a function of what we have on our motherboards - our programming.

So, how did we come to create, or have, our programming, our values and our beliefs?

Ask lots of folks and they'll say they did it themselves. Especially those who fight to the death to assure everyone they "think for themselves". "I'm my own man/woman!" Hmmm. Really?
Being conscious and self-aware means taking a deep, long look at the notion of "I am who I think I am." and perhaps discovering that "I am who someone else wanted me to be" - by taking a microscopic look at each of the nodes and diodes on our motherboard and asking, "Hmm, how did this one get here?" "And this one?" "And this one?" "How did I become who I am?"

Such an exploration will undoubtedly lead to some interesting discoveries: that, for one thing, someone else in fact may own a particular node, or a particular diode; that someone else has crafted a particular node or particular diode; that I am really operating on someone else's value or belief that I have taken on that I think is "me".

Who is it really who controls what you think, feel, say and do? Who is it that really, really influences your choices and your decisions? How did you come to believe what you believe, how you feel and how you react and respond as you do to people, places, events and circumstances in your life - at work, at home, at play and in relationship?

How did you become known as: "the happy one", "the angry one", "the hard-nosed one", "the prejudiced one", "the political one", "the honest one", "the fearful one", "the risk-taker", "the selfish one", "the compassionate one", "the writer", "the artist", "the non-mathematical one", "the don't-go-into-law" one"?" How did you become the I am described in the phrase, "I am who I think I am?"

Have you ever consciously explored the life experiences and beliefs of your parents, extended family members, your teachers, your clergy members, those who had an influence on you in your childhood and formative years?

Have you ever consciously explored your experiences with your early bosses, or military leaders, and later on with politicians, the media, radio, the Internet, reality TV - all of which have had the opportunity to craft and mold the nodes and diodes on your motherboard in very subtle ways?

Have you ever, early on or later on, sold out your own nodes and diodes to others for a price? For example, who do you associate with, and why? What does that association get you? Do you ever lie, cheat or steal at work? If so, why? What's the belief underneath your actions? Did you ever marry for money? Why? Do you jeopardize your health? Why? Do you jeopardize your relationship? If so, using what belief or story?

Most often we have allowed others, often unconsciously, to buy real estate on our motherboard because first, as a child, it brought us mommy and daddy's love, appreciation, approval, and acceptance. So we replicated their nodes and diodes and soldered them to our own motherboard - so now we think, feel, and act the way they did and often find our life is unhappy and hard, while not really understanding why.

Or, later in adolescence and early adulthood, as we entered the world of work and more serious relationships, we replicated others' nodes and diodes out of guilt, or fear and often found, and find, our life is unhappy and hard, while not really understanding why.

So, here we are, often living life at work, at home, at play and in relationship not knowing who we really, really are - disconnected from our True and Real Self because we have soldered so many others' nodes and diodes, beliefs, visions, thoughts and values to our own motherboard and think this is "me" or similarly taken reactive positions to others' influences and think this reactive stance is "me".

How do you know who you really are?

One way to begin to explore who you really are is by asking the following questions:

Do I have a closed mind? Is my mind always made up? Am I intolerant of others who don't see life as I do?

Do I see all of life as black and white? Am I rigid and inflexible, unforgiving and unbending, somewhat fanatical in my beliefs about life?

Do I use fear, guilt, manipulation, coercion and shame as weapons to get others to act in ways I feel they should act?

Am I opposed to differing perspectives, points of view and ideas?

By asking these questions and observing yourself, from outside yourself, you can begin to gain first-hand evidence of whose nodes and modules are on your motherboard.
And by asking these questions and observing yourself, from outside yourself, you can begin to gain first-hand evidence of whose nodes and modules are on your motherboard so you can consciously discern between:

·I think; therefore I am., and ·I think others' beliefs and thoughts; therefore I am who I think I am, which is not, in fact, me.

So, some questions for self-reflection are:

· Choose a few of your deepest or strongest beliefs about work, life at home, play and relationships and ask yourself, "How did I actually come to have these beliefs?" "Do they really serve me well and bring me true and real happiness or a false happiness and false sense of security?"

· How have former bosses, politicians, the clergy, or TV and the media shaped my beliefs?

· Would others say I am open to opposing viewpoints?

· How did I come to have the beliefs I have around: money, career, friends, family, appearance, health, fun, love relationships, and spirituality?

·What stories about life at work, at home, at play and in relationship have I created based on my beliefs. Do my stories support my experience of fun, happiness, contentment and joy in my life?

If not, do I prefer to keep my story to changing my belief? If so, why?

· Do I always need to be right?

· Am I gullible and easily deceived?

· Do I generally approach life with cynicism and skepticism?

· How well do I deal with change?

· When I listen to my inner judge and critic, whose voice do I most often hear (mother, father, primary caregiver, other)? What stories does that voice tell? And, are those stories true? Really?

· Do I consider myself to be a "free thinker? How did I arrive at this belief?

---ABOUT THE AUTHOR---

Peter Vajda, Ph.D, C.P.C. is a founding partner of SpiritHeart, an Atlanta-based company that supports conscious living through coaching and counseling. With a practice based on the dynamic intersection of mind, body, emotion and spirit, Peter's 'whole person' coaching approach supports deep and sustainable change and transformation.

Peter facilitates and guides leaders and managers, individuals in their personal and work life, partners and couples, groups and teams to move to new levels of self-awareness, enhancing their ability to show up authentically and with a heightened sense of well be-ing, inner harmony and interpersonal effectiveness as they live their lives at work, at home, at play and in relationship.

Peter is a professional speaker and published author. For more information: http://www.spiritheart.net or mailto:pvajda@spiritheart.net pvajda@spiritheart.net, or phone 770.804.9125.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Peter_Vajda,_Ph.D http://EzineArticles.com/?I-Think---Therefore,-I-Am---Not&id=1341206

Heaven and Hell - Which Are You Creating at Work? by Peter Vajda, Ph.D

2008-07-17T18:29:00.000-07:00

Heaven and Hell - Which Are You Creating at Work?By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Peter_Vajda,_Ph.D]Peter Vajda, Ph.D

One night, a man (generic) had a dream, and in the dream an angel comes and takes him on a tour of heaven and hell. They visit hell first. It turns out that hell, surprisingly enough, is a huge banquet room, with tables full of all the food and drink one could possibly want. The people at the tables, however, are angry, frustrated, rude, despairing, depressed, stressed, thin, emaciated and wasting away. The silverware in hell is about four feet long and can only be picked up at one end. Thus, all these folks, who are interested only in feeding themselves, are unable to do so, are unable to manage a four-foot utensil in such a way they can bring the other end to their own mouth.

They leave hell and then go to visit heaven.

It turns out that heaven, surprisingly enough, is also a huge banquet room, with tables full of all the food and drink you could possibly want. The folks in heaven are joyful, happy, content, engaged, and manifest a healthy sense of well-being. The silverware is exactly the same as in hell, four feet long and can only be picked up at one end. The difference? Here, in heaven, the people are reaching across the table and feeding each other.

In every social system, in every work environment, everyone, yes, everyone, makes a contribution overtly or covertly, actively or passively, consciously or unconsciously and, most importantly, for the "good of the order" or, conversely, for the "ill of the organization" - but everyone, i.e., you, contributes one way or another.

What you believe about yourself, how you see others, and what you believe about others, contribute to whether you are creating heaven or hell in your workplace in some way, shape or form.

How do you experience life in your organization (or, if you dare, in your family, or relationship)?
So, is your life at work centered on feeding yourself?

Consider:

Is your life at work "all about me?" Are your relationships at work built around a "What's in it for me?" motive? Are you a bully, gossip or blamer - do you need to coerce, dominate, control and be authoritative? Are folks expendable in your "take no prisoners" approach to project management or meeting deadlines? Do you hoard information? Are you consistently critical of others' behaviors? Are your sole reasons for working built around promotions, raises, corner offices and bonuses? Are you a workaholic? Do you sacrifice integrity, ethics and morals for the sake of money or prestige? Do you show favoritism? Do you treat others as "stupid?" Do you blow off others' requests, emails, and questions? Do you shun accountability for your actions and behaviors? Do you focus only on your own immediate tasks and responsibilities? Do you avoid risk-taking and conflict? Do you exhibit bias or prejudice? Are you distrustful, disrespectful and uncooperative? Do you have hidden agendas; are you secretive? Do you make more statements than you ask questions? Do you engage in irrational thinking and emotional reactivity? Are you inflexible, selfish, arrogant and egotistical?

Or, is your life at work centered on feeding others?

Consider:

Do you encourage and inspire the folks you work with? Do you live in integrity and authenticity at work? Do folks regard you as decent, honest and trustworthy? Do you assume accountability for your actions, behaviors and mistakes? Do you think more about supporting others than about what's wrong with others? Do you treat others with decency and respect? Do you feel everyone has a right to a seat at the table? Are listening and coaching hallmarks of your leadership or management style? Do you show confidence in your direct reports? Do you exhibit empathy and concern for others' well being? Are you energetic, upbeat, enthusiastic and optimistic? Do you encourage others to experience work-life balance? Are you self-aware and master of your emotions? Do you take time for self-reflection and encourage others to do so as well? Do you lead and manage with your heart as well as your head? Do you believe in yourself? Do you live your organization's values? Do you encourage others to contribute their thoughts, ideas and wisdom? Do you treat others like adults? Do you engage in open and honest communication, and give honest and timely feedback? Do you praise in public and deal privately with problems? Are you fair in your dealings with others? Do you act as a facilitator and guide? Are you an advocate for others? Are you humble? Do you initiate conversations and then make an effort to understand before being understood? Are you comfortable with conflict? Are you aware of your own limitations? Do you understand the challenges folks are facing and what frustrates them? Do you encourage collaboration? Do you encourage information sharing? Do you point out folks' strengths? Do you honor your commitments and keep your promises?

So, some questions for self-reflection are:

Are you contributing to your own or your colleagues' experience of hell in your workplace? If so, what story or stories do you make up to rationalize/justify your attitudes and actions to allow this to happen?

Are you contributing to your own or your colleagues' experience of heaven in your workplace? What attitudes and actions support your contribution?
---
ABOUT THE AUTHOR---
Peter Vajda, Ph.D, C.P.C. is a founding partner of SpiritHeart, an Atlanta-based company that supports conscious living through coaching and counseling. With a practice based on the dynamic intersection of mind, body, emotion and spirit, Peter's "whole person" coaching approach supports deep and sustainable change and transformation.

Peter facilitates and guides leaders and managers, individuals in their personal and work life, partners and couples, groups and teams to move to new levels of self-awareness, enhancing their ability to show up authentically and with a heightened sense of well be-ing, inner harmony and interpersonal effectiveness as they live their lives at work, at home, at play and in relationship.

Peter is a professional speaker and published author. For more information: http://www.spiritheart.net , or mailto:pvajda@spiritheart.net pvajda@spiritheart.net , or phone 770.804.9125.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Peter_Vajda,_Ph.D http://EzineArticles.com/?Heaven-and-Hell---Which-Are-You-Creating-at-Work?&id=1246961

Be a Nobody Peter Vajda, Ph.D

2008-06-12T09:52:00.000-07:00

Credentials are a fact of life - degrees, certificates, diplomas, titles, qualifications, and real or symbolic badges of one kind or another. Credentials have their place in life, and in life at work. Credentials support us to feel confident, and support others to feel confident in us. Credentials allow us to assume responsibility and accountability, and support others choices to permit us to lead, manage or supervise. Credentials communicate education and experience and support others to rely on our expertise.

Where credentials get in the way is when one becomes preoccupied, even obsessed, with their credential. Meaning?

Simply, these folks are their credential. Their identity is birthed from their credential. They feel like a somebody as a function of their credential. These folks take their credential out of context and allow it to become bigger than life itself. These are the folks at work, at home and at play, who can't get out of the way of, separate from, their credential. They wear it like a cloak. It's their brand.

When folks are obsessed with their credential, when they are their credential, they are always on in formal meetings, in informal workplace gatherings, in water cooler conversations, with clients and other stakeholders, in outside-of-work social situations, even when shopping at the local retailer - their conversations and their interactions are driven by their need for recognition, for acknowledgment and to feel emotionally secure, to be seen as somebody. And, for this "somebody," its all about "do you know who I am?", that is, "do you recognize my credential that is me?" Often consciously, more often unconsciously.

There's an intellectual component to the need to be somebody being - cognitively recognized as important, knowledgeable, educated, having position, power, status or privilege and there's an emotional component to the need to be somebody - the sensate, physiological feeling of being "held" and seen. When either of these is lacking, the individual experiences a sense of being a nobody, for them, a fate equal to death - in actuality, unbeknownst to them, their ego death. They feel they don't exist. They have no value or worth. They feel deficient; they have no identity. They're not somebody. The psychopaths and narcissists who happen to live and work in just about every workplace, are extremely obsessed with the need and want to be somebody (even at play and at home). Their credential is the story line of their life, a statement about "who I am," a somebody.

To these folks, the response to the question, "What do you do?" is an "I am" statement. A be-ing, not a do-ing. Why? Because they are their credential - an announcement of "who I am."
The credentialed love the limelight, to be the center of attention and the life of the party. Being at the center feeds their ego, and nourishes, not their sense of pride ( a good thing), but hubris, pride bordering on obsession. How often when one of these folks feels they are not heard or seen, do they quickly react with a rough or unkind word, inappropriate action or reaction that communicates: "Do you know who I am!!!!!?: "Can't you see' me!!!!?" "What's wrong with you!!!?"

Such reactivity is the downside of identifying with one's credential. The sadness of it all is when one of these folks is not seen and heard their emotional and physiological response, underneath it all, is one of anger fueled by sadness, and loneliness. Like the young child who is wet, and not diapered, or hungry and not fed. Feeling unseen, unacknowledged and ignored, these folks, now as adults, are really reaching out to be seen and acknowledged - "emotionally wet and hungry," wanting attention, not for diapers or food, rather, to be seen, heard, i.e., recognized as "somebody.

So, what would it be like to consciously choose to be a nobody, to explore and be curious about what we see about ourselves if we didn't need to be somebody? That is, to be a nobody and show up authentically without the crutch of the credential?
What would it feel like if we went through an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year, or a lifetime, without needing to be somebody? Just showing up as who I am right here and right now, authentically?

Being authentic in our life at work means, simply, I am me. Not, I am my job or I am my credential. Just me. What might that look like, feel like?
Well, it might look like we own our mistakes. Or, we don't become "too big for our britches." Or, blame others for errors. Or, come across as arrogant, holier-than-thou, and super(wo)man. We shed the cloak of fakeness, phoniness and pretending. We allow ourselves to say, I don't know. or "What do you think?" Or allow our embarrassment, our shyness, our vulnerability.

As a nobody, we learn to become more interested in others. We let go of our ego. We are inclusive in thought, word and deed. We are open and accepting. We operate with the notion that I am one of you. and "We are in this together for our mutual good." We seek to understand before being understood. We stand back, inquire, observe and listen. We walk in others shoes. We let go of power, status, title, and qualifications. We move away from "center stage" to "stage right," maybe even move to being "behind the scenes." We allow it to be OK to not need to be the expert. We become servant rather than master. We become flexible rather than rigid. We come from our heart in addition to our head. We become less important rather than self-important. In essence, we add a spiritual component to "who I am" and "how I am" at work. In a way, we become invisible. We get out of own way. We become quieter - more self-reflective, more self-observant. In a word, humble.

Humility, and being a "nobody," means looking up at the vast, vast Universe and knowing...I am not the center of it...regardless of my credentials.

So, some questions for self-reflection are:

· Do you rely on your credentials to be seen as "somebody?" Do you ever let credentials, yours or others', get in the way of your relationships?

· Are you ever jealous of others' credentials?

· Do you ever feel like a "nobody", or deficient, because you lack a certain credential?

· What would a next credential "get you?" Are you a "nobody" without it?

· Do you use your credential to behave like a "know-it-all" or an expert?

· Do you ever use your credentials to mask weakness or irresponsibility?

· Do you keep your credentials in a proper perspective?

· Do credentials line your walls? If so, why?

· When folks ask, "What do you do?", how do you respond? With a "do-ing" or a "be-ing?"

· Who would you be without one or more of your credentials? Would you feel like you're the same person?

· What would it be like to practice being a "nobody" next week, in thought, word and deed?

· Do you always need to be "on"? If so, why?

· Are status and title important to you? If so, why? · How do you practice humility in your life at work (at home and at play)?

· When do you feel like a "nobody" and a "somebody"?

· How often do you feel you show up authentically? Honestly. Is that OK?

(c) 2008, Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D. and SpiritHeart. All rights in all media reserved.

---ABOUT THE AUTHOR---
Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D, C.P.C. is a founding partner of SpiritHeart, an Atlanta-based company that supports conscious living through coaching, counseling and facilitating. With a practice based on the dynamic intersection of mind, body, emotion and spirit - that is, Essential Well BE-ing - Peter's approach focuses on personal, business, relational and spiritual coaching. He is a professional speaker and published author. For more information contact: http://www.spiritheart.net/ or [mailto:pvajda@spiritheart.net]pvajda@spiritheart.net or phone 770.804.9125
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Peter_Vajda,_Ph.D http://EzineArticles.com/?Be-a-Nobody&id=988027

Creating Balance - Balancing Our Yin & Yang Energy - Creating Balance The Feminine Revolution In Men By Marc Lerner

2008-05-29T17:03:00.000-07:00

The famous yin-yang symbol represents a complete person. The yin is the feminine and the yang is the masculine qualities, when balanced creates a complete person. In the Feminine Revolution women are developing the yang within them and manifesting. That makes a woman a complete person which qualifies them to participate in society equal with men.

Now to complete the Feminine Revolution men have to become whole people by developing the yin within them selves. Unfortunately when men think of developing feminine qualities they immediately translate it into a sexual context. And resist because they relate it to becoming gay.
Adding yin in a spiritual context balances the yang and makes them a whole person, like the ladies mentioned above. Unfortunately we live in a sexual context to everything. A spiritual perspective is a path where you complete yourself as you approach an Ultimate Power. .. both men and women have to do that.

When two complete people come together they can share a love that isn't dependant only on the other person; but their Ultimate connection is included. How ever you mentally define Ultimate, it means the reality that exists beyond your thinking mind and can not be limited to a belief system.

A society that has people who value the whole person, a balance yin-yang combination within every person, is a spiritually balanced society. Spiritual without the limitations created by religion; manifests beyond personal limitations. This would have profound affect on how that society dealt with health issues, relationship issues, and education.

The whole person is in-dependant and needs to find how to connect to the Wisdom of their Body instead of just relying on thinking. That is a natural result of a balanced yin-yang relationship and has profound affects on the quality of life and how one manifest in society.

Enter a Tele-seminar to learn how to connect to the Wisdom of your Body. Go to http://lifeskillsinc.com/ to enroll in a Tele-seminar. Learn to develop this natural wisdom within everyone. Be complete & manifest at your potential in health and every aspect of life. Learn the skills needed to go beyond just thinking and intellect and connect to the Wisdom of your Body at your Center where you have powerful inner resources. Going beyond your thoughts requires what I call life skills that may have been compromised as you grew up. These skills still exist within you but may have to be fine tuned to be supportive.

This Tele-seminar meets once a week for a month and develops 4 life skills; a positive self image, self trust a way of avoiding negative thinking and how to connect to your Center immediately. These skills take you beyond thinking and connect you to the Wisdom of your Body. (c) Marc Lerner 2008

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Marc_Lerner http://EzineArticles.com/?Creating-Balance---Balancing-Our-Yin-and-Yang-Energy---Creating-Balance-The-Feminine-Revolution-In-Men&id=1203036

Understanding Yourself by Janice L Smith

2008-05-20T09:01:00.000-07:00

How much time do you put in, just being with yourself?

With our busy schedules it is often difficult to find anytime for ones self. To truly understand who we are, we need to take time to get to know ourselves on a new level.

Most of us have heard of the idea of meditating or journaling, but why take the time to do them? One of the main benefits of meditating or journaling is a decrease in stress. Learning to take time for ourselves lets our inner self know that we are important in our lives. There is nothing worse than feeling unimportant in someone's life. Our inner self is no different than being in relationship with someone in the outside world.

We are very complex beings with many layers to who we are, in taking time to be with ourselves, we can learn so much more about what is happening inside ourselves. As our inner world, creates our outer world, learning more about our inner world becomes very important.One must learn to be quiet in order to listen to what the inside self has to say. It is not always easy to understand this part of ourselves. One must be patient in order to befriend the inner self. After many years of neglect the inner self does not necessarily step right up to the plate because you have decided to be visit suddenly.

It is like making a new friend outside of yourself, if you don't spend time getting to know them, you will not have a very good friendship.

Your inner self is like this, most people don't now a great deal about their inner selves, for they have not taken time to get to know this part of themselves.

• To begin I would recommend that you make meditation and journaling a daily practice till it becomes a habit. Start with 5 or 10 minutes a day, if that is all you can find time for, then increase it, by increments up to 1 hour. Play soft music, light candles, whatever feels good. This is a special time for you. Honor yourself in this time. Be quiet and listen. If your mind is really cluttered and you can't get it to quiet, pay attention to your breathing, then imagine you have a basket beside you. Dump all the chatter and thoughts into this basket and tell your brain you will pick it up again when you are finished.

• The important part is consistency. It is better to do 5 minutes daily rather than 20 minutes once a week. The brain is very smart and knows if you don't truly commit to it, the brain just needs to be patient and you will give up this silly idea.

• Create a daily practice, be committed to getting to know yourself, be curious about what you might discover, treat it as a new friendship with a person you truly like and want to spend time with and get to know.

• You are valuable and worthwhile getting to know!

Janice Smith
Empowerment Coach
604-921-2882

Author Era of the Rebel, Embracing Your Individuality http://www.eraoftherebel.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Janice_L_Smith http://EzineArticles.com/?Understanding-Yourself&id=1174662

What Do My Dreams Mean? How To Interpret Them by Bryan Burbank

2008-05-11T10:29:00.000-07:00

To interpret your dreams it is important to learn what the meaning of those dreams are and how they affect your life and the way you live. The act of dreaming itself can be dated back to ancient times were they thought that dreaming was considered the supernatural communication, divine intervention, their message could be unraveled by those people with certain powers. Today most information you find about Dream Interpretation is usually found in a psychology book.

Dreams are thought to be part of the world of the unconscious mind. When dreaming, the unconscious mind has access to all of your fears, desires, and inhibitions, and randomly weaves dreams that show you pictures, sounds, feelings and scents. It is believed that dreams give us important information about ourselves and those close to us.

Often dreams are about conflicts, and by focusing on your dreams over a period of time, you will find that your dreams may be offering solutions about any troubled relationships you are experiencing. Place a sprig of Rosemary or Thyme under your pillow to make sure that you will not have nightmares.

You can use a good sized journal and keep a record of the dreams you have, particularly if you are experiencing an unhappy or lonely time. After a week, reread your entries and see if a consistent theme is emerging. Learn from your dreams. You can also encourage your dreams to give you information on a specific topic. For Example: Recite the following three times just before you fall asleep and see if you get a sign of who your lover will be.

Also, you can try placing a four-leafed clover under your pillow before you go to sleep. It is through this, that you will dream of your soul mate.

For more information on What do my Dreams Mean and How to Interpret Them go to: http://www.elovemagic.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bryan_Burbank http://EzineArticles.com/?What-Do-My-Dreams-Mean?--How-To-Interpret-Them&id=942960

How To Create Your Own Luck by Ryan Kiew

2008-05-07T18:03:00.000-07:00

Are you feeling down on your luck, and nothing seems to be going good for you? Are you waiting for opportunities to knock, but fortune always seem to elude you? Stop fretting on your misfortune, shake off those negative thoughts and create your own luck!

Everyday we make hundreds of decisions from the time we wake up to the time we sleep. Some decisions are made consciously while others are made subconsciously as a result of habits that we've picked up since young. From every decision we make, there is an outcome which may turn out to be negative or positive, but the important lesson to learn is not to attribute it to luck(whether good or bad).

When results turn out favorable, you may give all the credit to yourself for having make such good decisions but what happens when the outcome doesn't turn out desirable? For most people, the failure is blamed on other people or circumstances that is outside of their control. The last person they will blame is them self! The inability to take responsibility for your own action and its consequence is the most significant factor leading to failure. Don't blame it on bad luck!

"Chance favors the prepared mind"
- Louis Pasteur

Sometimes, we are envious or even jealous of the excellent results of other people. Why do some people have all the luck but not you? The fact is, people are not luckier than you, but rather more prepared than you to accept opportunities when it comes knocking. Rather than wait for fate to drop success into their hands, the so called "luckier" people pro actively seek out chances for themselves to excel in by taking action(such as taking courses to improve their skillset, network with more people, set goals and objectives etc). Therefore, by expanding their peripheral vision for opportunities, they are more than ready to catch them when they come within their sight while someone less prepared might have missed it completely.

"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us."
- Helen Keller

We begin each day with the the opportunity to make many decisions. When something bad happens, you can choose to be a victim or learn from the mistakes. Are you busier finding fault or improving your chances for finding the right opportunities? Are you still looking at the closed door? We find our own luck!

More tips on how you can http://successbreakthrough.blogspot.com/ Achieve the Breakthrough Success that you Need!

My Personal Blog is at http://www.prospectinglife.com/ Prospecting LIFE.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ryan_Kiew http://EzineArticles.com/?How-To-Create-Your-Own-Luck&id=1152106

The Law of Opportunity by Jesse Sherer

2008-05-02T14:32:00.000-07:00

"When you are unconditionally ready for something, it WILL make its appearance known."

Pablo De Leon - Revision of famous saying
Do the Opportunities that present themselves in our lives do so out of pure chance, or do they adhere to immutable law? Why does opportunity seem to favor some individuals and flee from others? The answer to these questions lies within a concept myself and friend Pablo De Leon have described as the Law of Opportunity.

Interestingly the great opportunities in our lives seem to arise out of thin air. Think back to a time when something significant happened in your life. Imagine the people, circumstances, and ideas that came together to create this opportunity. Think of how each one of those elements must have been cultivating for some time to create the necessary fundamental structure necessary for the opportunity. These seemly random forces converging together may seem to have occurred out of pure chance. However, a deeper inspection reveals that these events have not happened on pure accident but rather by the rising of a collective and powerful consciousness.

You may have heard of the Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction basically states that our dominating thoughts create our destiny. The law of attraction operates on a personal level. Only you can control your own thoughts. Let us imagine two people are seeking different results contradictory to one another. Let's say for example I claim a piece of land and want to construct an apartment building there. Another person with equal claim to the piece of land and equal amount of desire wishes to build a park. How then can the law of attraction bring about the desired result for both people? The law of opportunity finds the answer to the question.

All opportunity comes from the Infinite Source of Power and Intelligence the grand designer of the universe and the only creative energy in the universe. The law of opportunity does not make the law of attraction obsolete, but rather connects the web of time, attraction, the individual, and the community. We cannot create opportunity, but we can align ourselves to be ready for the opportunity. Opportunity will readily make it self- available to the one whom is unconditionally ready for it.

How then do we make ourselves ready for opportunities to be handed to us? To unconditionally ready for a thing implies two distinct properties.

1. Intent: Along the lines of the law of attraction we must intend for this opportunity to manifest.

2. Awareness: We must be completely aware of our own Being and connection with everything else. Awareness of this fact will bring about opportunity we may have not known existed. In the realm of Being, opportunities are spontaneously created and anything is possible.
When these two properties are combined through conscious living, you will align yourself with law of opportunity. The act of doing this will create opportunities around every corner. It will allow you to see the interconnectedness of people, objects, and events.

Jesse Sherer is an entrepreneur and specializes in helping others achieve their goals and dreams. Read other articles about entrepreneurism, and self-improvement http://www.jmsherer.blogspot.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jesse_Sherer http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Law-of-Opportunity&id=1145590

Living With Opposites by Peter Vajda, Ph.D

2008-05-01T13:09:00.000-07:00

One of the qualities of a "mature individual" (not chronologically mature, but emotionally, psychologically and spiritually) is the ability to hold in consciousness, and reflect upon, polarities at the same time, e.g., "light and dark" together. Many refer to this state as enlightening - being in a state where one does not have to, or choose to, opt for one over the other and can entertain both polarities at the same time, without judgment, and with curiosity.

At work, at home and at play, we live in a world of duality: love/fear, right/wrong, negative/positive, doing/being, sickness/health, comfort/risk, inner/outer, self/others, powerful/powerless, safe/unsafe, etc.

For many at work, in particular, living with duality results in stress, overwhelm, and tension on a daily basis. Consider the tension some experience as they move back and forth on a continuum between: under budget/over budget, team cooperation/team competition; employees who are continuous learners/employees who are on "cruise control"; open and honest communication/hoarding information, secrecy and gossiping; bosses who are supportive, servant leaders, compassionate and nurturing/bosses who are bullies and overbearing; meaningful work/dull, boring and routine work; latest software that fosters effectiveness/legacy software that foster ineffectiveness; efficient processes and procedures/bureaucratic processes and red tape; integrity, honesty and transparency/phoniness, dishonesty and duplicity...the list of such continuums is endless.

Stress, overwhelm, upset, resistance, resentment and regret surface when we want to experience only one end of the continuum and reject the other. Many live their lives at work (and at home and play) believing that one side is good or right and the other is bad or wrong. In the end, much of their pain and suffering (mental, physical, emotional, social and psychological) results. When they view, and live life in, their world from this "right/wrong", "good/bad" mindset or world view, all they create for themselves is continuous pain and suffering in some way, shape or form.

When we put all our attention, and intention, on one end of any continuum of opposites, (it doesn't matter which end), our energy is out of balance. Accepting only one side of a duality and rejecting the other does not lead us to wholeness.

IMPORTANT: This notion is NOT to suggest that one "needs to engage in and behave" according to one end of a continuum that one views as "negative, unethical, out of integrity, or self-sabotaging", etc. IT IS about asking one's self why this other end of the continuum is in one's life experience, however. IT IS about asking one's self "Why is this behavior, event, person or circumstance in my life?"

In other words, asking one's self the all-important and powerful question, "Why is this experience happening FOR me?" ( instead of TO me, which simply allows one to engage in a reactive, victim consciousness and blaming mentality). Exploring that "other end" of the continuum from this deeper "FOR me" perspective can move one to a level of inquiry and self-reflection that takes into account one's values, motives, life purpose, assumptions, preconceptions, etc., and can lead one to conscious personal and professional growth and maturation by looking at how one chooses to respond to the person, event or behavior that is "dark, bad, or wrong..." Such an exploration can serve to support us to clarify our own values, and ways of thinking, be-ing and do-ing.

For example, "Why do I choose to go along with unethical and illegal practices in my workplace?" Why do I choose to go along with bullying bosses and gossiping that is destroying morale?" "Why do I choose not to speak up about how I can improve processes and procedures?" "Why do I choose to accuse another of being fake and phony?"; "Why do I chose to feel threatened, play small, be invisible and not allow my voice?" "Why do I choose to allow others to hoard information?" "Why do I choose to allow expenditures that are unnecessary?" "Why do I choose to allow others to be disengaged?" "Why do I choose not to ask others be the change they want to see in others?" In essence, why do choose to point to so many others as being "wrong" or "bad?"

Many folks want to experience life from the "good" side of the continuum only or try to live life with a "positive mental attitude". The result for these many is more often that not an experience of struggle, frustration, resentment, and despair. Why? Because they are out of balance. There is no one end to a continuum and denying the other end is an exercise in futility. In our world of duality, any effort to focus all attention on the "light" only serves to increase the power of the "darkness".

We cannot live a life of balance by clinging to just one side.

So what is the solution? How do we work with the tension of the two ends of the continuum? How do we balance or resolve them?

The reality is that the contrast is important to experience. The contrast of the opposites gives each end its identity. We can't know "hot" unless we also know "cold", "dark" unless we experience "light", "good" unless we experience "evil." The two ends need each other to make sense. Like the back and forth swing of a pendulum, our experience of duality must include both the positives and negatives, like love and fear, health and disease, joy and grief. We can't swing in just one direction. To grow in consciousness and self-awareness, we must honor the integrity of both parts and seek the middle, higher path of experience and expression.

A next step is to find a new perspective that allows one to understand (not agree with, necessarily), acknowledge and accept both extremes at once. From this perspective, we can see the role that both ends play, if we choose to. If we can let go of our mind's need to accept one and reject the other, and the attendant opinions, assumptions, and judgments we have, (the ones we use to see the other as "bad" and "wrong"), we're more able to experience life as it is as opposed to what we want (or don't want) it to be.

From this place, when we bring together two opposites into a higher understanding, we grow in consciousness, self-awareness, maturity and the ability to self-reflect. We learn to inquire into and explore why these elements are in our life, right here and right now (since there is no such thing as "circumstance") and what these elements can teach us about our self, our values, our life, our choices.

We can inquire into these elements, the "other end", and discover what life's lessons they present FOR us. The result is learning how to move through the not-so-pleasant vicissitudes of life, and growing our self in the process, as opposed to living a life of overwhelm, stress and tension, always feeling like a victim, constantly blaming, finding fault, fearing, nagging, moaning, rejecting and denying.

The pearl in the oyster cannot arise without the grain of sand that serves as an irritant which spurs its growth. No irritant, no pearl. One may perceive the person or event that that appears at the other end of a continuum as an irritant (i.e., bad, wrong, etc.) The important questions are (1) "Why?" and (2) "How is(are) it/she/they supporting me to see more about my self through my reactivity, thus enhancing my growth?"
So, some questions for self-reflection are:

What bothers you at work? Why? Why do you think this "irritant" is in your life right now? How are you choosing to deal with this irritant?
Why do you think reasonable, rational and decent people do things that annoy you? (Or, do you feel everyone who annoys you is unreasonable, irrational and not decent?")

What are the real issues that cause you to react to the end of the continuum that you see as "bad" or wrong?" Why do you think these people, events or circumstances are in your life?" To simply allow you to get mad, angry and reactive? If there were a deeper purpose, what would it be?

When you see the other end of the continuum as "the problem", that thought of yours alone is the problem. What do think about that?

Do you normally view the world, and the people in it, from a "right/wrong", "good/bad" perspective? If so, why? What would your colleagues and friends say?
When was the last time you admitted to being "wrong?"
Does ambiguity or conflict bother you? If so, why?

Would you consider yourself to be a tolerant person? Would your colleagues and friends agree? Think of a situation or a person where you can't see the good, the truth or the beauty. What would you have to do or perceive to see the truth or beauty of this person or situation? It is useless to discuss harmony in our world at work, without first creating harmony in ourselves. Would you agree?

What in your life do you resist looking at? Does this cause you tension? What would happen if you did look and allowed the tension to be there at the same time?

When you accept the vicissitudes and challenges in your life at work (at home, at play), as part of life, do you experience more or less of sense of well-be-ing? Why?

---ABOUT THE AUTHOR---
Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D, C.P.C. is a founding partner of SpiritHeart, an Atlanta-based company that supports conscious living through coaching, counseling and facilitating.

With a practice based on the dynamic intersection of mind, body, emotion and spirit - that is, Essential Well BE-ing - Peter's approach focuses on personal, business, relational and spiritual coaching. He is a professional speaker and published author. For more information contact: http://www.spiritheart.net/ or mailto:pvajda@spiritheart.net pvajda@spiritheart.net or phone 770.804.9125

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Peter_Vajda,_Ph.D http://EzineArticles.com/?Living-With-Opposites&id=1135117

Motivation - 7 Tips To Keep Your Motivation Fire Burning! by Jeanne May

2008-04-29T08:53:00.000-07:00

Motivation is an essential part of everything we do ... it governs whether or not we will successfully achieve our goals and dreams throughout life.

Motivation is our desire or level of energy to do something. Our motivation comes from within us, it is our drive based on our desire to achieve something, to do something, or to become something. Motivation also comes from outside us e.g. other people, events, actions of others.
Motivation isn't a constant -- it's normal to experience fluctuations in our motivation level at different times... sometimes our motivation is strong and at other times it's hard to find!

When our motivation is strong, we complete tasks easily, successfully achieve our goals... we feel more positive about ourselves and what we are doing. Everything feels good.
When we struggle to find our motivation, things become more difficult... tasks take longer to complete, we find ourselves easily procrastinating, our confidence and self belief takes a hammering... our energy and vibration levels are low!

Although we can be motivated by others or external events, it is the motivation that comes with in us that really makes the difference in being successful.

There are many things we can do to keep our motivation going... to give ourselves a much-needed boost... to keep our motivational fire from going out:

set a goal that's important and meaningful for you... a goal that will improve your life... a goal that excites you just thinking about it. Outline the necessary steps you need to take to achieve your goal and keep on that path! The more detailed your goal, the easier it is to keep motivated and on track if your motivation has taken a vacation, you feel lethargic and unable to get anything done, you are aware you're procrastinating... set yourself a time limit to achieve something, to do something and stick with it until you have it completed. Make this a short time period e.g. 10 minutes, and stick with that task for the entire time.

It's important to set small time periods for yourself when experiencing low motivation read motivating books -- read autobiographies of people you admire, look up to, people who have succeeded in some area of life. There are many motivational writers and motivational books are easily found on the net, library or bookshops listen to motivating audios -- Some of my favourites include: Bob Proctor, Brian Tracy, Tony Robbins, Jack Canfield... download your favourites onto your IPod or burn a CD... and listen to them in the car while you're driving, doing exercises, while you're waiting on queues or for appointments... any time you have spare, play your motivational audio! write out a whole lot of motivational quotes... and put them throughout your home, workplace, and on your computer.

When you find your motivation is low, read the quotes mix and socialise with people who themselves are motivated. It's important to surround yourself with people you find motivating... when you do, your energy and vibrational level increases and this gives you the extra charge you need to achieve what you desire learn more information or new skills on subjects that inspire you -- when you learn more about subjects you find enjoyable and inspiring, your motivation increases and you become more confident and self-reliant

Do you have difficulties at times getting motivated?
Jeanne May of http://www.aspirationsplus.com/ Aspirations Plus, works with spiritually minded people providing them information, inspiration, guidance and support to achieve their goals and dreams. I invite you to join my

http://www.aspirationsplus.com/4wkementprom.html 4 Week E-Mail Mentoring Program to get you going from where you are now in your relationships, health, finances, career and happiness to where you want to be...

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jeanne_May http://EzineArticles.com/?Motivation---7-Tips-To-Keep-Your-Motivation-Fire-Burning!&id=1138232

The Hypnotized Brain - Self Esteem And Negative Thinking by Michael McGrath

2008-04-27T12:14:00.000-07:00

Are you dogged by nagging thoughts of self doubt? Does negative thinking form a part of your life and hinder your ability to gain what you want? Every one of us have thoughts of negativity inclusing you. Did you know that these feelings of unworthiness and these negative thoughts stop you from living life on your terms?

If you are a person who finds it hard to get through the day without experiencing negative thoughts and emotions that cripple your ability to interact and make sound clear decisions then you know how harmful allowing these negatives to remain can be.

It is proable though that you are just an average person who is neither very positive nor very negative. You are most likely to be the type of person who feels neither good nor bad most of the time yet can get bogged down in negativity as the world and circumstances push against you.
The purpose of this article is to show you that you can eliminate these negative from your life and free your mind so that you can enjoy every moment and make decisions that are beneficial to your chosen life path without the hindrance of negative emotions and thoughts which usually guide you.

It is a great misconception amongst the majority of people that we have no control over our thoughts and emotions. They believe that negative thoughts and stressful emotions are a normal part of life. However, this could not be further from the truth.
Your brain is just like a computer. It needs software to run it and the software that it uses comes in the form of beliefs. Beliefs are just a collection of thoughts grouped together to form a picture of yourself and the world.

There are programs which are hot-wired in your brain designed to keep you safe like your fear of sudden bangs for example., however most of the programming that you have was amassed over your lifetime. There are many programs that your mind runs which are beneficial to you and keep you safe - you will automatically pull your hand away when it is placed near fire for instance. However, many of these programs are extremely negative and to the detriment of your success and happiness. You may have a mental program that stops you from trying different things. Perhaps you gained this program when you were younger and you were around very negative people who belittled you efforts and therefore you found it easier to not try. This program would have served you well while you were young and in that environment. However, as an adult such a program would severely limit your ability to move on in life and enjoy new experiences.

When you begin to identify and then remove the negative programming from your mind you will experience rewards in your life that you never dreamed were possible. In addition the freedom you experience in your own mind and body will allow you to enjoy each moment and be more present in the moment without the internal negative dialogue that has followed you around to this point.

The main reason behind negative thoughts lies in your self-esteem. Low self-esteem and a lack of self-worth lead to self doubt and fear. The key to removing all negativity from your life lies in your ability to love yourself and others unconditionally. Learning to improve your self-esteem is the one skill that you need to create success in any and all areas of your life. Disapproving of yourself and withholding self-approval is the main reason behind all your failure.

When you experience self doubt or fear you can always trace the reason back to a lack of self-worth. Re-read the last sentence then give it some real thought. Can you not see how true it is!
If you analyse all your negative thoughts and trace them back to their roots you will find that they lie in a belief that you are not good enough or unworthy in some way. By tacking the problem of negative thinking and negative emotions at their root ' low self-esteem ' you can lessen their effect at worst and totally eliminate them at best.

Begin today to forgive yourself for past mistakes and let-go of any regrets you may have. View your past as a path to the person you are today. In this way you can begin to become not only tolerant of your past but eventually you will become thankful for it. If you make a mistake in your life be gentle with yourself. Remove the habit of berating yourself. The world is filled with people who will do that for you, why should you be one them?

Practise forgiving yourself. Practise giving yourself approval ' it's just a decision. Decide now that you will no longer tolerate internal criticism. It is you that has your mind and it is you that thinks your thoughts. No-one else does it for you so therefore you have complete control over your mind and your thinking! Exercise that control today.

Recall all the wonderful things that you have done in life and congratulate yourself for the progress you have made. Many people don't make it as far as you have. Seek out tools to help you reprogram your mind for high self-esteem. Try hypnosis. You have been hypnotized into believing that you are unworthy of success and happiness so re-hypnotize yourself with the opposite.

With increased self esteem comes more self confidence and a deeper feeling of self worth. 80% of all communication is non-verbal so you will find that other people begin to react to you in a more positive way as you unconsciously project a better self image which reflects your feelings of self worth and confidence. You will also find your life begins to improve in ways you would not have thought possible. Try it, you may just be surprised!

Go to http://www.angelfire.com/wizard2/release/hypnosis.html Self Hypnosis and read our free reviews of the best Self Hypnosis products we tested. Find out what really works!
Alternatively you can visit http://hypnosis.personal-development.info Hypnosis where we have reviews of the best Hypnosis products we tested. We find out what works so you don't have to!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michael_McGrath http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Hypnotized-Brain---Self-Esteem-And-Negative-Thinking&id=1128645

Success with Positive Mentors by Anthony Hosking

2008-04-23T12:24:00.000-07:00

You know the world is full of those people that will always knock what you try to do, I call them the dream stealers because that what they do. They seem to think they know better than you what is good or bad for you, instead of getting on with their own lives. But folks we all have our own lives to live and live it we must. For many years, in fact most of my life I have been attracted to positive people and have found my life has been better for it. I have never had a goal or a dream never come true for me, because I have never listened too the dream stealers. I have made is a point to always develop a burning desire to reach what I reach out for.

I have found it very beneficial to have a Mentor to guide me, an have found that by giving we also receive. I give lots of motivational talks live on the internet, but more than anything I love to help other realise there dreams as well. I do not sell anything but myself, that is my payment back to the universe for the blessing I have received in my own life. I am always very pleased to hear from anybody that need to a little helping hand. I feel that many people need a little push in the right direction.

Millions of people come onto the internet, with the intention of making money online, the truth is how many end up broke. This a very sad affair but it is a fact of life, I feel that if these people could have a mentor to guide them in the right direction. I would love to hear any feedback and just possibly I might be able to help who knows. This not a sales letter as I do not charge for my services, I give it freely.

Anthony Hosking (Mr Motivator) http://www.mentorscentral.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Anthony_Hosking http://EzineArticles.com/?Success-with-Positive-Mentors&id=1115923

You Already Have Everything You Need by Melani Ward

2008-04-21T14:33:00.000-07:00

Do you ever find yourself starting a sentence with "if only..."? Do you realize that just voicing those words, even if only in your head, can result in immediate negative energy in your body which then brings negative energy all around you?

That's because "if only" brings up feelings of lack and scarcity. What if instead you said "I have everything I need"? In fact, say it out loud...right now.

How did that feel? I bet it had a totally different impact on you energetically than even thinking about "if only". The fact is that most of us are already so rich in life. How much do you really need before you realize your cup is already full?

The simple truth is we have everything we need, many of us just don't see it.

One of the biggest obstacles that get in people's way is that they think they have to go "get" things before they will really have what they need. But, you already have it within you. You just have to find the way to bring it out of you. Trust me when I say you already have it!

What's truly magical is that as soon as you start to realize it, you will notice it everywhere and the level of gratitude that will fill your heart will be astounding. And, as you fill your heart with more gratitude of what is already within you, more than you ever imagined will begin to flow in.

This week practice saying "I have everything I need" every time you find yourself wanting or feeling like you are lacking something and then pretty soon you'll trust yourself enough to really believe it.

Copywriter and marketing coach for self-employed women entrepreneurs Melani Ward publishes "The Girl's Guide to Marketing" weekly ezine. If you're ready to attract more clients, have more fun and put a whole lot more money in your small business, get your FREE report and FREE e-book now at http://www.9keystosuccess.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Melani_Ward http://EzineArticles.com/?You-Already-Have-Everything-You-Need&id=1117170

Change Your Subconscious, Change Your Life! by Laura D Adams

2008-04-20T09:19:00.000-07:00

It is truly amazing how hard some people are working in today's world.

Just the other day I spoke to a friend who spends two waking hours a day AWAY from work! Furthermore, the poor guy only sleeps 5 hours a night. I assumed, of course, that he loved what he was doing and he must be getting the results he was after. But I asked him anyway.
I was very surprised to find out that what he really wanted was to work less, and to live on the beach with his family. I was shocked to hear this because I knew that there was nothing that was keeping this man from living the life he wanted.

For the next thirty minutes I heard plenty of "story" (a kind word for excuses) about why his dream life was not possible for him. He had been working himself further and further away from what he really desired. So what keeps people from living the life of their dreams? The answer is very simple, ignorance.

Now before you (or my friend) think that I am referring to him as stupid, I'm not. In fact this particular man is one of the brightest people that I know. The ignorance that I refer to is the lack of knowledge of a fundamental principle. The principle is this: how the subconscious mind works and how it dictates the results that we are getting in our lives.

Have you ever felt that no matter how hard you tried to achieve something that there was some type of obstacle between you and the end game? Sometimes it seems that the harder we try, the further we get from our goal. This is the subconscious mind at work.

If your subconscious mind believes, for instance, that the world is a scarce place and that there is not enough for everyone, your results will be scarcity-based. Now before you get defensive and say, "but I really believe that the world is not scarce - yet I'm not tapping into the abundance!" realize that what you are really saying is "my CONSCIOUS mind believes the world is not scarce, yet I'm not tapping into the abundance."

It is very difficult for us to know what the subconscious mind believes. We can only guess what our subconscious believes based upon the results that we are currently getting in our lives. So no matter how hard we work, we will continue to get the same results.
What is important is not how hard we work, but what we work on. If we can change what the subconscious believes then we will begin to get different results!

This begs the question, "how do I change the underlying beliefs of my subconscious mind to assist me in getting what I desire?" There are several ways that one can communicate directly to the subconscious. Some of the most popular are hypnosis, meditation, psych-K, brainwave entrainment, affirmations, vision boards, visualization, and subliminal messages.

Remember, the subconscious mind is very powerful. It is the mind that remembers to breathe and make our heart beat. In order to get the results you desire, put the subconscious to work for you. Do not continue to let it work against you. This is truly working smarter, not harder - enjoy the beach!

How would you like to manifest your ideal life by tapping the power of YOUR subconscious mind? Revolutionary videos from Get The Dream combine an electronic Vision Board with Brainwave Entrainment technology. Put the Law of Attraction to work in your life with only 20 minutes per day! A FREE Sleep product is now available for instant download at http://www.getthedream.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Laura_D_Adams [http://ezinearticles.com/?Change-Your-Subconscious,-Change-Your-Life!&id=1115302 ]http://EzineArticles.com/?Change-Your-Subconscious,-Change-Your-Life!&id=1115302

Strategies for Success and Happiness - How to Defeat Procrastination by Deborah Coates

2008-04-17T14:49:00.000-07:00

"The best way to get something done is to begin" - Author Unknown
There are lots of reasons people procrastinate. Therapists may say you fear failure, feel insecure, or are a great escape artist. Acting like an ostrich and burying your head in the sand, pretending what you need to do will just go away if you ignore it long enough prevents you from enjoying life completely.

If you have ever wanted to cure yourself of this nagging habit and find a remedy for getting things done in a timely fashion, the following technique will surprise you and give you the desired results. If you have never done this before, this is what's called visualization.

Visualize Completion

You will be amazed at how much you will achieve and the speed with which you will succeed when you see yourself going through the motions. This is a powerful tool. Your ability to reach a deep level of concentration depends on your ability to relax and keep your mind from distracting thoughts.

Put yourself in a comfortable position, sit in a chair or lie down with your eyes closed. Focus on relaxing all of your muscles, beginning with your toes all the way up to your face. Breathe naturally through your nose and as you exhale silently state a word or phrase to keep your mind from wandering off. This will make you relaxed and with practice every day you should be able to return quickly to this relaxed state.

Now that you're relaxed think about the task you want to complete and focus only on that. Visualize the tools you will need to gather or the people to whom you will need to speak to, to finish your task. Form mental images of yourself and walk yourself through all the steps necessary in vivid detail to complete whatever it is you are postponing. Take yourself down each mental path until you have reached the desired outcome and it is finished.

When you resume your activity you will find yourself doing exactly what you pictured in your mind's eye. Now treat yourself for a job well done. Congratulations, you are going down the right path toward conquering procrastination.

If you make a habit of visualizing yourself doing the things that you ordinarily put off, you'll be amazed at how much you can accomplish with no more procrastination.

For additional resources to help you achieve a richer life please visit: http://www.strategiesforsuccessandhappiness.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Deborah_Coates http://EzineArticles.com/?Strategies-for-Success-and-Happiness---How-to-Defeat-Procrastination&id=1111041

Law Of Attraction - Where To Start For Success by Charles Burke

2008-04-16T08:01:00.000-07:00

To make a start toward success, you need two things.

First, you need to identify what's in your life now that you want to be rid of. Second, you need to know what you want to replace it with.

1. What you don't want -- that's where you are now.

2. What you do want -- that's where you want to be.

Once you have these two things clearly settled in your mind, you're ahead of the vast majority of the world. Just as an experiment, sometime, go around asking people what they want, or what they want to do with their life. You'll get "I don't know" 97 or 98 times out of a hundred.
However, if you're one of those who isn't quite sure what you want, don't despair. Discovering your desires isn't all that hard to do.

Let's start with where you are now. What is it about your current life that really irritates you? Not enough money? Too many bills? Health problems? No love life? Somebody bossing you around all the time?

Whatever it is that's making your life uncomfortable, I've got some good news. We're going to take those money problems or the love problems or the health problems, and we're going to find a positive use for them.

Instead of letting those problem always use YOU, you're going to learn you to get some positive use out of THEM for a change.

The way we do that is simple. Use your "don't wants" as a launching pad. Say something like "This is where I am, and I don't want to be here. I want to find my way to a better place."
If you know exactly how you want your life to improve, write it down. That's your target. If you're not sure yet, do this. Take the way your life is now, and describe your main problem, the one you want to be rid of. Then start changing the description.

Let's say your problem is a lack of respect from co-workers and family. Write out a description of the exact opposite condition, if somehow your problem were miraculously changed. If you're not accustomed to thinking in terms of goals and proactive change, this can be a shortcut to defining what you want.

For more information on how to shape your future, download the free PDF report "It's All Good Luck - Five No-Fail Tips for Turning Bad Luck into Good... Every Time" at http://www.more-luck.com/luckyreport/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Charles_Burke http://EzineArticles.com/?Law-Of-Attraction---Where-To-Start-For-Success&id=1107494

Using Your Creativity To Find Satisfaction In Life by Andrea Rose Lucas

2008-04-14T20:19:00.000-07:00

You make your life happen

So many people live their lives as though it is something that just "happens" to them. This is very sad because they are unaware that they are creating their own life and so they live their lives by default usually ending up with disappointment, depression and fear. Every single person on the earth has the power to create their own lives. Using that power brings us the greatest satisfaction and happiness that life has to offer. One of the ways we create our own lives is to use our creativity. Our creativity can be expressed in many different ways. Some people express their creativity by writing stories or poetry. Other people express their creativity with artistic expressions ranging from painting or drawing to sculpting to sewing or other types of crafts. Still for other people their creativity is expressed through interior design, make-up artistry or hairdressing. There are countless ways a person can express their creativity and each one of them brings intense satisfaction, happiness and fulfillment to the persons who allow themselves to fully use the capacity for creativity that exists within them.

Designing your own life

In some cases a person can use their creativity to literally design their life the way they want it to be. They use all the power of their imagination to see themselves being successful in their relationships, their careers and even in their spiritual lives. As they create these realistic impressions in their minds they begin to receive inspirational thoughts on how to manifest their desires into reality. As they take action on the inspiration they receive, their lives begin to take the shape they had imagined in their minds. According to Napoleon Hill, author of "Think and Grow Rich", this is exactly how all great successes have ever been created. Even a person who doesn't consider themselves the "creative type" can use their hidden creativity to design a successful life for themselves and their families.

Developing your talents

Most people have a variety of talents that they can express their creativity with and become successful at. It is important to explore all of your talents and take the time to develop and perfect them as much as possible. If Rembrandt had spent all of his time working in a factory and then sat in front of a television set for hours each day after work, you would never have heard of him and the world would have been cheated out of some amazing works of art. Don't cheat yourself or the world by wasting your life away on unimportant things, take the time to develop your creativity and see where it leads you.
Summary

Your life is whatever you decide to make of it. Each person has their own unique talents and creative abilities that they can use to shape the outcome of their lives. Talents are not developed in front of a television screen, so it is important to use your time wisely and discover or hone your special creative skills and abilities. As you use your creativity wisely you will discover greater satisfaction in life.

Andrea R. Lucas is the leading expert in the area of Life-Scripts, the blueprints by which we all live our lives. She is the founder of the DYSALA Method, which identifies the seven steps necessary to change a negative Life-Script to a positive one, and to live the life of happiness and abundance you have always wanted. Andrea is the author of "7 Steps To Personal Fulfillment" and numerous articles on this fascinating subject.
www.7StepsToPersonalFulfillment.com and http://www.SevenSecretSteps.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Andrea_Rose_Lucas http://EzineArticles.com/?Using-Your-Creativity-To-Find-Satisfaction-In-Life&id=1096959

Brain Training 101 by Steven Gillman

2008-04-13T18:12:00.000-07:00

A little bit of brain training can go a long ways towards better thinking. There are easy techniques for better or more creative thinking, such as brainstorming or just getting a good night's sleep. The idea here, though, is to train your brain in new habits. It can take some work, but once good habits are established, there is little extra effort involved in your new higher-level of thought.

There are many brain training routines you can work with. Here are two to get you started.
Train Your Brain To Create Examples

Have you ever read something and only "almost" understood it? Often, this is because the author didn't use good examples, or perhaps not any at all. Suppose I tell you, "The reticular cortex is a part of the brain that discriminates among sensory inputs and stimuli to make you aware of those which are important." You might nod your head, especially if you've read about this. But your understanding may be a bit hazy.

It would be much clearer if I added, "For example, if you are looking for a business to buy, and you give some attention to that goal, you are essentially 'programing' the reticular activating system to bring anything relevant to your attention. Your eyes still look at the same scenery, and the same sounds enter your ears, but the non-essential is screened out, while the reticular cortex makes you notice the 'for sale' signs on stores or helps you 'tune into' conversations about business."

Now you understand better. A few more examples would probably help as well. If you want to really understand things, then, you need to have examples, and the simpler the better. If the speaker or author doesn't provide them, create your own. In fact, don't move on until you do.
Do this with your own ideas as well, whether you are explaining them to another person or just thinking to yourself. Make them as simple as you can, but not too simple. Think of several examples, as though you are preparing to explain the thought to a variety of different people. It could be argued that if you cannot give good examples, you don't fully understand an idea. Create examples until doing so becomes a habit, and you'll find that this kind of brain training leads to a better grasp of everything you learn.

Train Your Brain To Be More Self-Aware

Being self-aware may not seem so important to effective brainpower, but it is. When you know yourself better, you can avoid the usual effects of ego and emotion in your seemingly "rational" thinking. Or you can at least take them into account.

Watch yourself, especially as you explain things or argue, and you'll become aware that much of what we call reasoning is really rationalization. You'll also see how common it is to try to win an argument or make a point at the expense of digging deeper and understanding something better. This probably can't be completely overcome, but being aware of what your mind is doing makes it possible to "correct course" and think more rationally.

Observe yourself. As with other types of brain training, the goal here is to repeat this process until it becomes a habit. The self-awareness that results will prevent you from getting into a rut in your thinking. For example, if you are aware that you have a strong desire for certain beliefs to be true, you'll question whether you've lowered the standards of evidence for them. Then you can explore the alternative views more rationally.

Copyright Steve Gillman. For more on http://www.IncreaseBrainPower.com Brain Training, and to get the Brain Power Newsletter and other free gifts, visit: http://www.IncreaseBrainPower.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steven_Gillman http://EzineArticles.com/?Brain-Training-101&id=1099755

Transforming Stress - 5 Simple Tips To Help You Transform Stress by April Mims

2008-04-12T08:30:00.000-07:00

Our lives are filled with stress. It is all around us, everywhere we look. There are deadlines to meet, unexpected traffic jams, overloaded schedules, and difficult people. The negative effects of stress have been well documented over time. They include high blood pressure, insomnia, irritability, and various other chronic conditions that are having a significant affect on society.

While there are many times that you are not able to control stressful situations, you can control how you react to them. The secret to transforming stress lies simply in how you deal with the situation. Here are 5 simple tips that can help you transform your stress and live a happier life.

1. Recognize what is causing the stress. Awareness is key here. When you recognize what is causing the stress, it allows you to figure out how to deal with it. By ignoring it, nothing will change and you will have to continue dealing with the stress.

2. Put fuel in your tank. Allowing yourself time to decompress and unwind is very important. This is the fuel that keeps you going. Eating right can help as can meditation, relaxation techniques, yoga, walking, and deep breathing exercises. Find what relaxes and reenergizes you and allow yourself to have a few minutes of personal time each day.

3. Examine your standards about the stressor. Are your standards too high? Are they realistic? It may be necessary to adjust your standards to reduce your stress. Be sure to set your standards at a realistic and achievable level.

4. Seek support. Find someone that can help you deal with the stressor in a healthy way. Talking about it or getting assistance can help reduce or eliminate the stress. Getting help can be as simple as talking to a friend. For more extreme levels of stress, a licensed counselor, therapist or life coach could help you find a healthy way of managing stress.

5. Create an action plan. Learn from the stressful situation and develop an action plan to deal with that situation when it arises again. This will help you manage your reaction to the situation in the future.

Although we can't control many of the stressful situations in our lives, we can control how we react to them. By transforming stress in this manner, we are better able to manage ourselves and keep our stress levels as low as possible. Take action this week and find your main sources of stress. Look for ways to adjust how you deal with those situations and see how much you can lower your stress. The positive benefits are worth the effort!

April Mims is a life and career coach specializing in work/life balance issues and life and career transitions. Her coaching practice is Nexus Coaching Partners. She is passionate about empowering clients to balance the demands of a successful career and a strong family life. April invites you to a complimentary 30-minute coaching session to see if coaching could benefit you.

To learn more or subscribe to The Nexus Connection newsletter, visit http://www.nexuscoachingpartners.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=April_Mims http://EzineArticles.com/?Transforming-Stress---5-Simple-Tips-To-Help-You-Transform-Stress&id=1099292

Live Better by Doing Less by Ingrid Bacci

2008-04-11T09:59:00.000-07:00

There is a paradox in life. By consciously focusing on learning how to reduce tension or to do less, you can improve your health, develop better relationships, and experience greater success.
This involves focusing your attention on developing a deep sense of ease, and letting the results of that approach bring you abundant health, prosperity and joy. It also means letting go of physical and emotional pain, guilt, an excessive sense of obligation, a hard work approach to life, fear, anger, resentment, in short, all the physical experiences and mental attitudes that cloud our lives and that make life harder rather than easier, laden with struggle rather than joy.

Learning to let go of the ways we inadvertently and unconsciously contribute to our own pain is the key to finding radiant physical and emotional health, and material success.

There is a core lesson we are all here to learn, in the process of living on planet Earth. That lesson is the lesson of personal empowerment, on both physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels.

Learning personal empowerment is about learning not only that we are responsible for our own physical, mental, emotional and spiritual states, but also that we, and we alone, have all the resources within ourselves to create our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. The pursuit of effortless living is ultimately the pursuit of personal empowerment on all levels.
The ancients knew this well, and articulated it in the great spiritual traditions of the past. It is time for us to learn the same lesson. Let your inner state draw your outer reality. Focus on effortless living.

©2007 Ingrid Bacci Ph.D. All rights reserved.

Written by: Ingrid Bacci PhD, CST, an internationally recognized healer, bodyworker, author and teacher of self-empowerment. For free information and products on personal empowerment and on mind-body healing from chronic pain and stress, visit http://ingridbacci.com
For Ingrid's books, a) The Art of Effortless Living and b) Effortless Pain Relief, go to http://amazon.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ingrid_Bacci http://EzineArticles.com/?Live-Better-by-Doing-Less&id=951584

How Can Intuition Help My Business? by Joan Marie Whelan

2008-04-10T12:23:00.000-07:00

Some of today's brilliant movers and shakers can attribute strategic business intuition to their successes - and so can you! With little or no effort at all, our intuition can give us clues and positive inclinations as to what important steps to take in achieving both our personal and professional goals.

In a recent interview [1] conducted by CNN, computer giant, Bill Gates attributes much of his business success not alone to his innovative staff, but by trusting his intuition to make strategic business moves. If Bill Gates can achieve the financial freedom and continual business success by relying on intuition, can you imagine the potential that you too, can achieve by following through on your own innate wisdom?

Songwriter/Singer Jewel clearly defined her professional career by creating some of her unique chart-topping songs of today. More recently, her song, "Intuition," hit number five on pop charts. Her lyrics [2] reveal how she achieved pop-star status; especially in her third stanza where she sings, "Follow your heart, your intuition, it will lead you in the right direction..." Words have never been truer.

It is your thoughts and intuition, which often lead you to pursuing specific dreams and careers; this is also why it is so important that you heed your gut feeling when it tells you it's time to move forward in life. Remember, too, that intuition is merely your counsel - you must follow through by initiating the action to manifest your life dreams.

Whether your intuition comes to you through an "ah-a" moment; or you mind's eye gains an inspirational message through nature, an event, from your heart, or even a simple thought, it's time to listen and pay attention to it. Planning your destiny and fulfilling your professional benchmarks can definitely be achieved when you let your expert intuition be your guide to success.

Until we speak again, I am
Joan Marie, Your Intuition Expert
© Copyright - All Rights Reserved
How can Intuition help my Business?
By Joan Marie Whelan

\References:A one-on-one interview with Bill Gates; CNN.com/Sci-Tech archives.cnn.com/2002/TECH/industry/02/28/gates/index.htmlMP3 Lyrics - Intuitionmp3lyrics.org/j/jewel/intuition/

About the Author: Joan Marie Whelan, an internationally known http://www.intuitivespecialist.com/ intuitive specialist, business consultant, medium, and coach travels throughout the United States sharing her gifts and the

http://www.manifestationmethod.com/ Manifestation Method with solo-preneurs, professionals, small business owners, and large companies. Her much anticipated first book, Self- Discovery: The Nine Principles to Reveal Your Sacred Gifts will be published later this year. For more information about Joan Marie and her upcoming, exclusive events, please go to: http://www.joanmariewhelan.com www.joanmariewhelan.com

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25 Winning Principles for Self Development by Marenda Hughes

2008-04-09T10:26:00.000-07:00

Considering no one is perfect it is fair to say that there is always room for improvement. We all have strengths, weaknesses, and areas in which we can improve. Successful happy people continuously seek growth and development opportunities because they know that improving self is a key factor to improving life. If you are unhappy with certain aspects of your life, if you are not where you want to be, if you are stressed, depressed, or uncertain about your life direction self development is your first step towards positive and productive change. Begin using these 25 winning principles for self-development to see real change right away.

1. Set goals for yourself.
2. Commit your goals to paper.
3. Expect to be successful.
4. Ask for what you want.
5. Be decisive.
6. Accept responsibility for your life and your actions.
7. Proactively seek opportunities to learn and grow.
8. Make it a point to learn from key experiences.
9. Seek the lesson in any failures, mistakes, and setbacks.
10. Look for the good in every situation.
11. Seek feedback.
12. Accept constructive criticism.
13. Adapt to changes.
14. Find ways to Effectively manage stress.
15. Balance work, personal, and family life.
16. Work effectively with little or no supervision or direction.
17. Meet commitments.
18. Face fears and challenges head on.
19. Believe in yourself.
20. Refuse to compromise.
21. Follow and trust your intuition.
22. Be confident.
23. Be persistent and never give up.
24. Don’t hold grudges. Forgive, forget, and let go.
25. Go the extra mile.

A solid commitment to self-development lays the foundation to living life abundantly. Everyone wants to be prosperous, happy, and fulfilled, it all begins and ends with self-development.
About the author: Marenda Hughes Taylor is Chief Operating Officer of 1st Love Records, a living life abundantly http://marenda.biz Motivator, and an http://paidinfulldaily.com Internet Business Owner.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Marenda_Hughes_Taylor http://EzineArticles.com/?25-Winning-Principles-for-Self-Development&id=608041

Tuning-In to Intuition by Michael Imani

2008-04-08T09:05:00.000-07:00

Intuition is knowledge or perception which comes from the heart and is not filtered by the head. English journalist and author, Holbrook Jackson (1874-1948) once described intuition as ‘reason in a hurry.’ Intuitive decisions are often correct and you may already employ your intuition without realizing or valuing it.

One of the more important things I have discovered as a coach relates to why people don't get or have what they want in their lives. The answer about 20% of the time relates directly to the fact that they simply don't trust themselves nor theirintuitive sense or higher wisdom or that little voice.

You can tell when your intuition strikes because you will feel inspired, and obvious answer may suddenly present itself, there will be a feeling of unison and your insight may reach beyond the realm of logic.

While you may already recognize your intuition as a hunch or an inkling or that gut feeling in the pit of your stomach, other signs and symptoms might include a racing heart, tightening muscles, deja vu, a flash of inspiration or that still small voice. In becoming more aware of your intuition, you will more readily trust your intuitive decisions.

And you can develop your intuition by being present in the moment and creating space for your intuition to push through. Alternatively, cast your mind back to previous occasions when you followed your heart. What were the outcomes?

My gut feeling is that you will have relied upon your intuition more often than you thought!

Thomas Chalmers is an executive coach who works with executives, politicians, and entrepreneurs. http://www.idealifeinternational.com

Michael Imani, Ph.D. is a mind/body expert who helps people succeed in life and business. He is a facilitator in executive coaching at the top-ranked Robinson College of Business at Georgia State University. http://www.michaelimanicoaching.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michael_Imani http://EzineArticles.com/?Tuning-In-to-Intuition&id=675560

Developing Skills To Achieve Your Goals by Alison Stevens

2008-04-06T09:09:00.000-07:00

When setting goals it is important not to sell yourself short. Always set a goal that will have meaning when you reach it. Setting achievable goals does not mean giving up ambitious dreams, instead it means setting intermediate achievable goals long the way. For example, if your goal is to lose, say, 30 pounds, then break this down into achievable steps of losing 5 pounds per month. More emphasis needs to be placed on setting smaller achievable goals and developing skills to achieve goals is an important step.

So, sit down and set yourself a realistically achievable goal. We've already talked about setting realistic weight loss goals so let's use the example of returning to the workforce. Perhaps starting back part-time would be one way of easing back into it. On the other hand, it may not be realistic to say, "I want to generate this amount of income within the next three months". It may be more worthwhile to say, "I want to be working three days per week at the end of two months".

If the goal is too large it will seem unachievable and you will become frustrated and give up.
That's why realistic goals are so important. Decide on realistic changes you need to make to your life. The key in setting goals is making sure that you are not making it too hard - and therefore setting yourself up for failure - or too easy for yourself.

In order for your resolutions to be effective, they need to be specific to you and realistic. Try running your goal by a friend or family member. They should be able to tell you if your goal is realistic for you or not. Goal setting, however, is not simply about wanting to do something; it is also about being able to articulate what the goal is about, and understanding what parameters you can measure your progress against. When applied to your personal and professional life, goal setting is about taking control of the way your life evolves.

All you objectives should have a clear time frame, be measurable, and realistically reflect your capabilities. A time line will help you visualize how you should be progressing towards your goal and where you need to concentrate your efforts. If your become dispirited in it is often because your expectations are unrealistic. Goals can be set that are impossible to achieve causing the person to repeatedly fail and becomes frustrated and give up.

All kinds of people - family, friends, work colleagues and society - can put unwarranted pressure on you which can almost guarantee failure. These people often do this in ignorance of your true goals and aspirations. So make sure that you are alert to outside influences that could restrict your ability to achieve your dreams.

Set yourself achievable goals and reward yourself as each milestone is reached and longer term goals are set. Aim to actively pursue your goal for a set time each day. Of course, to reach your end goal you will need to set yourself intermediate goals to get there.
Let your daily actions be a reward, not just an end result. Allow yourself to enjoy the journey and don't obsess about the future. Achieving your goals shouldn't be an ordeal; it can and should be pleasurable as you develop more skills. A final word about achieving your goals is to continue to focus on the outcome and never give up.

Alison Stevens is an online author and maintains http://www.goal-achiever.com/ The Goal Achiever Website to assist anyone who wants to discover how to set and achieve goals. Find out more about http://goal-achiever.com/develop-skills.htm Developing Skills To Achieve Goals here

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Alison_Stevens http://EzineArticles.com/?Developing-Skills-To-Achieve-Your-Goals&id=1088807

Educating The Public On Anger Management - The Why's And How's by Karen Golob

2008-04-05T13:58:00.000-07:00

A Need to Educate

Several years ago I discovered the importance of integrating a structured anger management program into my private practice. I recognized that there were significant problems in managing anger that went hand and hand with aggressive behavior and behavior attributed to substance abuse. This was also the case where substance abuse was not a factor leading to a client's maladaptive behavior. In some cases anger served a purpose by discharging tension and stress. Some clients experienced a momentary strong feeling of control, which led to unresolved conflict and aggressive acts.

In this age of media overload and the lack of effective skills to monitor and manage stress, it is necessary that new resources of information (the 411) be available to men, women and adolescents in order to avoid resultant anger and frustration that we see in daily life. My education and experience as an Anderson & Anderson Certified Anger Management Facilitator and Executive Coach, has successfully assisted me in gaining useful information in order to teach clients and counselors in simple and effective ways how to recognize the "red flags" that set up aggressive behaviors and destructive reactions. Anger management is a skill enhancement program which teaches practical skills in recognizing and managing anger, stress, assertive communication, emotional intelligence and improving interpersonal relationships.

What Is Anger?

Anger is a basic human emotion that everyone feels. According to the American Psychiatric Association, anger is a normal human emotion. It is not a pathological condition and is not listed as a defined illness in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Nervous and Mental Disorders. Anger is considered to be a lifestyle and is a reaction to an inner emotion which is used to express a feeling. Anger is energy and can be a signal that tells us something about ourselves, someone else, or a situation in which we find ourselves. It can serve a purpose by giving people the drive and determination to cope with difficult situations. It is important to recognize that anger is a secondary emotion, which means we feel something else first...even if we don't notice it. For example, a primary emotion might be fear, frustration, disrespect or perhaps rejection. Learning how to identify this primary emotion and appropriately express one's feelings before they are elevated to anger, is an important factor in emotional intelligence. Because anger is a "learned response", we have the ability to unlearn negative reactions and "retrain" ourselves to respond in a healthy manner. When skills are not made available to help individuals with their set and solidified responses, it is evident that underlying anger problems add to the source of substance abuse and eventually affect depression and anxiety.

A Program for Understanding Anger

Everyday life is a challenge. We constantly face situations in which our self-control and communication skills are tested at work, at school, at home, on the roadways and with a myriad of personalities in the general public.

A certified anger management facilitator designs a program to help individuals gain a better understanding of acceptable and productive ways to express anger and eliminate violent and self-destructive behaviors. Clients learn to recognize and identify the role of individual responsibility in changing their maladaptive behaviors.

In this program, an assessment is given which is designed to determine the client's level of functioning in the areas of anger, stress, communication and emotional intelligence. The client's session is then based on the results of the assessment and skills are taught in these four areas. The same assessment is administered at the completion of the program to determine the success of their program. By gathering this information, the facilitator is able to provide clients with new insights into their life's situations and educate with skills to transform destructive interactions into constructive responses.

Karen Golob, CAMF, CCDC, CH, owner of Anger Management Services, is a Certified Anger Management and Certified Executive Coaching professional helping individuals gain self-awareness, identify and develop strengths, and learn how to problem-solve in order to manage life's challenges. Karen is Certified with the State of California as a Chemical Dependency Counselor and utilizes her extensive knowledge in substance abuse counseling when working with addicts who exhibit maladaptive behaviors with their anger. She offers private sessions that provide confidentiality, individual attention and anonymity. Her curriculum is based on the Anderson & Anderson model.

Karen is a Fellow of the American Assoc. of Anger Management Providers, a member of the National & California Assoc. of Drug and Alcohol Counselors, the American Counseling Assoc., and Speaker's Bureau of Olive View/UCLA Medical Centers. She has a diverse and expansive background in teaching, training, public speaking and counseling.

Karen receives referrals from the Calif. Superior Courts, Drug and Alcohol Rehabilitation Centers, mental health professionals and those in the corporate and private sectors. She holds Certifications in Chemical Dependency Counseling, Anger Management, Executive Coaching and Clinical and Medical Hypnotherapy.

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Self-Esteem - How to Turn I'm Not Good Enough, into I'm Un-Stoppable by Beth Banning

2007-10-07T08:31:00.000-07:00

Do you ever worry that you're not good enough, not smart enough, or you simply don't have what it takes? Do you ever worry that this is keeping you from achieving the things you want most in your life?

According to a recent report by the Priory Group, entitled I'm Not Good Enough, millions of British women suffer from low self-esteem, which in turn adversely influences their mental health, relationships, work, and overall quality of life.

How many of these statements apply to you?
1. I don't think I'm good enough to get the things I want.
2. Sometimes I feel worthless.
3. My needs don't seem to matter to other people.
4. I worry about what other people think of me.
5. Now and then, it seems like there's something wrong with me.
6. I have to do everything myself. It's like I'm all alone.
7. I'm powerless (weak, not safe, helpless).
8. At times I can't take care of myself in challenging situations. 9. I have no choice because...
10. I'm unlovable (unworthy)

If more than one of these statements rings true to you, you're not alone. These limiting beliefs are one result of how we interpret unpleasant experiences from our past. However, that's not the only way we come to believe that these statements are true.
Have you ever heard someone say that one of these statements was true about you? Even though that doesn't make any of these statements "THE TRUTH", the impact of believing such a statement can have serious consequences on our self-esteem.

On the other hand, people's self-esteem has never improved just because people made positive statements about them. In fact, many who work in the field now agree that self-esteem fans tend to go overboard when they recommended that children should be praised to make them feel good, regardless of their effort or motivation.

These people seem to focus on self-esteem as a goal, rather than a by-product of one's confidence in their ability to achieve what they want for themselves. Some people describe this as "competent behavior", which is just another way of saying that your actions produce the results you want.

So how can we learn to build self-esteem, if self-esteem (or self-worth) is just a byproduct of self-confidence? The shortest path to building your sense of confidence, is to experience your actions producing the results that you want.

Unfortunately, each limiting belief that we have adopted along the way becomes an obstacle. They prevent us from investing the time and energy it takes to develop enough competency in our skills to achieve the level of confidence we need to produce the self-esteem that we desire.
The first step down the path of raising confidence consists of transforming these limiting beliefs that prevent us from developing new skills or honing the ones we have already developed. Sound impossible? Actually, transforming these beliefs may actually be easier than it seems.

To transform limiting beliefs you start by putting out the painful fire of your judgments. What are we taught to do when faced with fire? We're told to Stop, Drop and Roll. How does the Stop, Drop and Roll method apply to the transformation of our limiting beliefs? Stop and listen to the warning signals -- Drop the judgments -- Roll out a new plan.

Stop
Start with of the practice of being aware of how you feel. Use any feelings of discomfort as a warning bell. When you feel uncomfortable in any way, stop what you're doing and identify the judgmental thoughts in your head. Write them down while you're thinking of them or as soon as you can get to a pen and paper.

Drop
The only way to drop your judgments is to start translating them into the truth of what's important to you. Once you identify the uncomfortable judgmental thoughts, it's time to figure out the values you hold dear that are buried within those judgments.
For example, "I'm not good enough to get the things I want" might be translated into the important values of accomplishment, effectiveness or even a deep desire to contribute. Now try saying that to yourself, "I deeply value accomplishment." Can you feel the difference?

Roll
Once the painful fire is out and you are clear about what's most important to you, it's time to roll out a new plan. Identify at least two actions you can take that will support you in creating the things that you value.

Once you've mastered the Stop, Drop and Roll technique, you're well on your way to building your self-confidence and re-energizing your self-esteem. If you'd like to learn even more personal growth skills that can be used to build your self-confidence, sign up for our free motivational Weekly Action Tips eMail series at: http://www.FocusedAttention.com/cmd.php?ad=317928

Each tip will help you in your quest to live the life that you've always wanted.
Or visit us at http://www.FocusedAttention.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Beth_Banning http://EzineArticles.com/?Self-Esteem---How-to-Turn-Im-Not-Good-Enough,-into-Im-Un-Stoppable&id=709252

The Art and Science of Personal Development by Darbright Ng

2007-08-31T09:44:00.001-07:00

It's an Art because what works for one person may not work for another, as it involves self-discovery, testing ideas and gaining self consciousness and other intuitive processes. Yet it is a Science because there are certain steps that can be taken and knowledge that can be learned in order to aid and accelerate the process of personal growth.
Have you ever wondered why people are interested in the subject of Personal Development and improving themselves?
The main motivation behind most self-improvement is to better one's knowledge, skills and thinking. And in the process of developing oneself, the aim is to improve the quality of one's existence, either in the mind, in the emotional experience of life, or in the physical and tangible aspect of material possessions.
If there's something you'd like to learn, or improve in, the question is how does one start? Is there any step by step process that you can follow to help you improve?
I've outlined some steps below that might be helpful to you in your personal growth.
The Journey of Personal Development
Personal Development begins by developing your mind and raising your conscious awareness. And with a higher level of conscious awareness, one is then able to deliberately and consciously go about creating and choosing one's experience in life.
When you have decided clearly what it is that you want, the next step you can take is to identify the key factors crucial for success in your journey. The following steps are pretty basic, but outline a simple process that many people don't follow:

Set a Goal
Research and Identify Key Success Areas
Follow Through on the Key Success Areas

In setting your goal, it could be anything. But in this case of developing yourself, your goal may be to learn something new, or develop a skill. You could be considering learning how to do public speaking, or maybe even something that you've never done before, like going diving!
After you've set the goal, do some research on what it takes to accomplish that goal. For example, in the case of diving you would require to take and pass a diving course. Then you would follow on with what are the diving schools available in your area, how much they cost, the reputation and quality of their instructors, timing of the lessons and so on.
Once you've done your research, all you really need to do right now is set the time aside and follow through on it. Having an idea of what to expect makes following through on your goal a lot easier! Most of the time, it's not knowing where to start or what to expect that holds people back from learning something new.
Conclusion
While there are other ways to learn something new, like jumping head first into a project or new experience without any clue, I prefer to have some idea of what to expect!
My experience is that personal development takes time, effort and desire.
Time - because we need to learn new knowledge and deliberately practice our skills;
Effort - because we have to do something to gain something and that's by converting the energy of our effort into tangible results;
Desire - because when you really want what you want, you'll automatically think about it every day, find ways around and through roadblocks that might be in your path, and pick yourself up when you're down.
So in summary, what are the basic steps for Personal Development?

Everything begins with an idea, or a goal in mind. For example, what skill or area would you like to develop next?
Doing the necessary research to have a better understanding of your chosen goal. For example, what does your goal really mean? What are the ways to accomplish it?
Identifying the key areas for success, and
Follow through on learning and developing those key areas

The question now is for you:
What do you really want to accomplish? Do you have a goal?
Darbright runs Personal Development Made Simple @ http://www.darbright.com a website devoted to making a life of freedom and abundance possible through Personal Growth.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Darbright_Ng http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Art-and-Science-of-Personal-Development&id=700667

Why Argue? You Can't Win Anyway by Matthew Roberts

2007-08-25T07:57:00.000-07:00

Ever noticed the outcome of an argument between two people or groups with contradicting views? Was there really a winner?

If you’re on the winning side, you feel superior, and important. All these feelings suggest a positive outcome for you. It’s as if you’re working down on a guy while he looks up at you. He has this words to mumble “I’m going to get you next time; you wait and see.”

Yes, there’s this shallow threat to win over you once he gets a rematch. Definitely, a rivalry and a disharmonious relationship will ensue. If the argument happens in front of other people, the repercussions are far worst than can be imagined. To most people, being contradicted and won over in front of other people is a big issue. For obvious reasons, no person in his right sense can tolerate being contradicted. It is an embarrassment.

A person forced to submit against his will stays firm in his belief. So what’s the best advice to a situation that seems to lead to an impending argument?

Welcome an opinion even though it is the opposite of your own. When two people go into a partnership, let’s say in business, it is normal that disagreements arise. Actually, it is healthy for business.

Disagreements don’t mean that the partnership will go sour. It’s the exchange of ideas that gives businesses more competitive edges and improvements. Use disagreements to your advantage. This is especially true to married couples. Husbands and wives may disagree but they ultimately find a common ground to make their relationship stronger. It’s like exploring each other, getting to know your partner better.

If you are the temperamental type, learn to control it. Make every effort to gradually reduce the intensity until you see substantial improvement. Temper that is out of control is fueled by anger like a forest wildfire. This is entirely different from controlled temper that is like the fire in the fireplace giving warmth at wintertime.

One of the most important character you can develop to avoid arguments is to be a good listener. Give your ear a chance to listen first before you let words come out of your mouth. And when you do have a word or two to say, try your best to align them in a non-argumentative direction. Be tactful. Dwell on areas where you think you and the other party will agree. Be sincere. If you commit a mistake, acknowledge and apologize accordingly. Apologizing for mistakes does not make you a lesser person in terms of importance. On the contrary, people feel humbled when apologized to. Apologies bring out the gentle person in you.

Give the other party the benefit of the doubt in his opinion especially when you doubt your own opinion as well. Tell the other party you will think over his ideas. This is better than being told later “ I told you so but you wouldn’t listen.” This will also give you and him the chance to evaluate the problem or issue.

When someone takes the time and the effort to engage in a debate or argument with you, it only shows that he is also interested in the same things as you do. That alone is sufficient reason for you to thank him.

Arguments are raised not to be a source of losing one’s face. Arguments are raised so that we may learn a lesson or two and get better in terms of acquiring added knowledge.

Matthew Roberts (the author of this article) has set you up with a special gift on his website.

In an exclusive personal interview he uncovered the secret success strategies of multi-millionaire John Di Lemme. For your FREE 18 minute extract of this interview, head on over to http://www.InspirationToAchieve.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Matthew_Roberts http://EzineArticles.com/?Why-Argue?-You-Cant-Win-Anyway&id=693088

Self Worth Quote - 3 Keys to Increase Self Worth by Jason Osborn

2007-08-19T07:33:00.000-07:00

There is a great self worth quote by Wayne Dyer that says ‘Self worth come from one thing – thinking you are worthy.’ If you can really get this self worth quote you will be well on your way to increasing your own self worth. Of course it’s not always that easy so here are 3 keys to help you increase your self worth.

1. See yourself as worthy.
This key goes hand in hand with the self worth quote by Wayne Dyer. I know it’s not always easy to see yourself as worthy but the truth is that you are more worthy then you can possibly imagine. You were not born inferior to anyone. You were born to do great things in your life and have great success.

2. Work on one thing a month.
This is a practical thing that will greatly increase your self worth. Pick twelve areas that you want to improve in your life. Once you have written down, start with the first one and improve yourself in that area by one percent. The next month, do the same for the second thing on the list. At the end of the year you will have improved yourself by one percent in twelve different areas. Overall you will have bettered yourself by twelve percent. That’s pretty good.

3. Stop being your own worst enemy.
It’s time to stop being your own worst enemy by thinking so negative about yourself all the time. Remember the self worth quote. The last part says ‘THINKING you are worthy.’ Right now you are thinking you aren’t worthy. All you have to do is change the way you think. Determine that you won’t let all your successes in life be defeated in your mind before they even have a chance to thrive.

Is there greatness on the inside of you but you don't know how to achieve it? Jason has just completed his brand new 7 part e-course, 'Find Your Greatness'

Get it free here: Find Your Greatness

Do you want to learn how to create successful habits and goals? Download Jason’s new FREE ebook here: Goal Setting

Jason Osborn has dedicated himself to changing thousands of lives by helping people find their greatness and true potential through his Find Your Greatness Newsletter.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jason_Osborn http://EzineArticles.com/?Self-Worth-Quote---3-Keys-to-Increase-Self-Worth&id=690623

The Law of Attraction - A Users Guide by Jarle Husefest

2007-05-08T15:41:00.001-07:00

Have you noticed how some people just seem to always be in the zone? They always reach their goals and get everything they want in their lives. How can this be? One possible answer would be that they are just lucky. Another answer could be that they know something others do not. Let us explore those two answers a little further.

What if it is Luck?

Luck is considered to be something we can not control. If you won a million dollars in a lottery you would call it luck. If you discovered your car had a flat tire when you was already late for work, you would probably call it bad luck. Some people are considered to be lucky while others are considered to be unlucky. If luck is what makes the difference between rich and poor, then there is nothing we can do to change it. We will just have to trust that destiny is doing what it is supposed to do for us.

What if they know something others do not?

If the successful people know something that can get them anything they want, it would be a totally different story. That means that everyone, with the right knowledge, could get what they want. YOU could get everything you want. Wow, think about that for a moment. Where would you be today if this was true? I got news for you: It is true. It is called the Law of Attraction.

All matter is energy. The chair you are sitting on, the trees in the backyard, your house and your car. It is all vibrating energy. And so are you. So, what makes us vibrate? Have you heard the expression you are what you eat? The same goes for thoughts. You truly become what you think about. Our thoughts and feelings make you who you are to the rest of the world. What you think about today is what you will get tomorrow.

The main thing that will make the Law of Attraction work in your favour is your feelings. You are always utilizing the Law of Attraction, whether you know it or not. If you are feeling bad, that is exactly what you will attract. If that is the case, you need to do anything you can to turn it around. Switch the negative thoughts with positive ones. Smile to everyone you meet (even if you do not want to). Sing in the shower. Become aware of your inner dialog and change it. When you first start doing this it will feel artificial and unreal to you. But if you stick to it, you will see that an incredible change takes place inside of you. You will start to attract positive things and people.

Think of your self as an adjusted magnet. You will attract all the things you think about the most. If all you can think about are your bills, then that is what you will get more of. If all you can think about is the money you have, then that is what you will attract. Stop worrying about the things you can not do anything about, and start paying attention to the things you can change. Be patient. You have planted a seed. Everything that is in your life today, is there because of what you have thought about in the past.

Jarle Husefest is the founder of the website PersonalDevelopmentBooks.net. The main purpose of the website is to distribute eBooks about Personal Development, free of charge.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jarle_Husefest http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Law-of-Attraction---A-Users-Guide&id=472771

12 Things Your Relationship Should Have to Succeed (1) by Elaine Sihera

2007-04-07T15:02:00.000-07:00

Some time ago, after I met the guy I called the 'love of my life', and labelled him '11% short of heaven' (because of the score we kept getting on every relationship quiz we did), I was fascinated to find out why we had clicked together so amazingly, despite our different backgrounds, etc. The love between us was so awesome, I spent quite a while reflecting on why being with him enhanced my happiness and sense of worth so much. I began to list the things I liked about him and our interaction and realised that everything I was listing were the things that I valued the most. I began to put them in order and then had a Eureka moment! It literally flashed in my subconscious that some of the things I liked about him were values which represented the essence of me on three levels: the things I cherished, the things I felt comfortable with, that confirmed who I was and aspired to be, and the things I desired from a partner to enhance my happiness.

I began thinking that I couldn't be unique in this process. That this list must be universal to everyone, but, obviously, the priorities would be different, depending on our gender, culture and perspectives. Your values can be anything that makes you happy. However, while you can be flexible about the bottom 6, or bottom 50% of your list, you cannot compromise on the top half. You will simply be very miserable. In fact, why not make up your own list, then use it to assess your 'failed' relationships, rating each aspect out of 10 to see how your former partners measured up. You should get a score out of 120 if you use a similar list to mine below. You could be in for a big surprise, but are guaranteed greater understanding of what makes you tick. These are the 12 values any relationship should have, in my priority order.

1. Communication: I am a wordsmith and if I cannot have a good conversation with my spouse, the relationship is doomed before it begins. I need to communicate in all forms: telephone, face to face, email, texts. I am very interested in my partner, I want to share his dreams, aspirations, achievements; I want to comment on life and current issues; I want to read a poem to him now and then, get his opinion, or tell him that he is magnificent. So, this, for me, is the most important aspect. Once communication goes, everything else is not far behind.

2. Attraction/Chemistry: You have to feel attracted to that person, feel a strong rapport, feel the urge to hold them, be close to them, have a need for their company. If you don't feel drawn to them, or have no wish to see them, what kind of relationship is that? People don't seek each other to stay apart from one another: that can be done as single people. We are not talking about being claustrophobic and in their face. We are talking about desire and desire is an essential part of attraction and chemistry. That's how we get that elusive 'Wow' factor. If it feels lukewarm at all, don't go there! Sometimes, things take a little time to develop between two people, but you should still have that butterfly-in-the-stomach feeling when you see that person.

3. Interest and Attention: If a person really cares about you, they will be interested in you: in your thoughts, your dreams, your vision, your hopes, your pain, your hurt and your needs. Interest is the essence of attraction because we should be curious enough to want to know about that person. Communication and interest are strongly linked because where there is very little communication between people, there is little interest too. People tend to talk about themselves, making constant statements rather than asking questions, mirroring their partner's topics or encouraging their dreams and efforts. If there is no interest at the dating or honeymoon stage, there will be no interest later on either! People who are only interested in themselves will not be interested in anyone lelse. And we cannot change people into what we want. We can only enhance what they already have. PLEASE bear that in mind, ladies!

4. Honesty and Trust: Once the lies begin, trust goes out of the window. Some people might put this value as their no.1 but my reasoning is: what's the point of having honesty if you cannot communicate to someone and there is not much attraction between you? Having honesty and trust still won't get you anywhere in that sort of scenario. If you sense the person is not really being honest at the beginning, as a gut instinct, it is most likely they are being economical with the truth. It is difficult to stem the flow of lies once they begin so set a high standard to start. For everyone, honesty and trust has got to be a high priority in any relationship.

5. Humour and Positivity: This is one of my essential values. No doom and gloom person for me. Positivity keeps us in good spirits and our bodies in good health. There is nothing worse than a misery guts or a whinger. It really kills motivation to be with someone who finds it hard to smile. I love my smile and I love to keep it bright with lots of laughter. There is no great action in being gloomy, but a smile can make someone's day. My guy has to have some humour and a positive outlook on life which we can both share because it will keep us happier and living longer. However, I do try to avoid those who pointedly set out to make me laugh. Usually that becomes boring after a while because it loses its spontaneity and becomes a chore to prove something. So long as the couple is behaving naturally and don't take themselves too seriously, the jokes will come. There is no need to force them.

6. Reciprocity: The dictionary define this beautiful word as, "Exchanging things with one another for mutual benefit," and it is a very useful word to know. I prefer to use the simple give and take. If your relationship is NOT reciprocal, it means there is one taker and one giver in it, or two takers. If there are two givers, it will be reciprocal because each person is looking out for the other. A simple litmus test of reciprocity in your relationship is this: when you tell your partner something positive, or tell them you love them, or do something loving for them, what do they do, exactly? If they remain silent, they do not respond, or they tell you that they won't reply when you 'solicit' or 'fish for' compliments, that's a sign of control and insecurity and you'll be the loser. A lack of reciptocity is the biggest killer of spontaneity in a partnership which usually leads to resentment and then tit for tat. Once that loving feeling is replaced with revenge, or the desire to hurt instead, that's the beginning of the end.

These top 6 are non-negotiable for me. If they are not there in abundance at the start, the relationship is not going to get any better. Yes, some people do grow more loving after a few years, but only if the positive foundations are already in place. People's basic personality seldom changes after marriage or setting up together. We all come with our unique imprints of life which give us the values we choose to live by. We tend to add to what we have or subtract a little from it, but we seldom ever ditch a value completely and start over again with someone else's value. For example, if you are basically generous, you might start off a little cautious until you see what your partner is like, and then you might choose to pamper her, or hold back if he's a spendthrift. But a mean person will not suddenly become generous because they are in a relationship, though they might temper that meanness with random acts of kindness, perhaps to impress. They will remain basically mean.

The next 6 values, I can be more flexible on, and be more compromising, because no one will fulfil everything I seek 100 per cent.

ELAINE SIHERA (Ms Cyprah -http://www.ecademy.com/user/elainesihera and http://www.myspace.com/elaineone) is an expert author, public speaker, media contributor and lifestyle columnist. The first Black graduate of the OU and a post-graduate of Cambridge University. Elaine is a CONFIDENCE guru and a Personal Empowerment, Relationships and Diversity Consultant. Author of: 10 Easy Steps to Growing Older Disgracefully; 10 Easy Steps to Finding Your Ideal Soulmate!; Money, Sex & Compromise and Managing the Diversity Maze, among others (available on http://www.amazon.co.uk as well as her personal website). Also the founder of the British Diversity Awards and the Windrush Men and Women of the Year Achievement Awards. She describes herself as, "Fit, Fabulous, Over-fifty and Ready to Fly!"

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Elaine_Sihera http://EzineArticles.com/?12-Things-Your-Relationship-Should-Have-to-Succeed-(1)&id=517863

So You Think Your Memory's Bad by Barbara Chapman

2007-03-29T09:20:00.000-07:00

In defense of your memory - give it a chance before you accuse it of being bad

You walk into a room and realise you’ve forgotten why you’ve gone in there.

You’re always losing your keys.

You forget where you parked the car.

What else can it mean? Your memory isn’t just bad – it’s terrible!Or is it? What if there is another explanation?Let’s focus on what’s going on in your mind in the build up to, and during, these episodes of forgetfulness.

As someone who was infamous for losing car keys, and who would end up rushing out of the house late due to the frenzied hunt for the delinquent object, let’s start with the keys.

You pull onto the drive, turn the engine off, get out of the car, lock the car, go into the house … or, put another way, you perform a sequence of actions that you’ve carried out hundreds of times before, a sequence of actions that has become automatic and doesn’t require your conscious attention.

So what are you thinking about? Any number of things – if you’ve driven home from work you may well be preoccupied with what’s gone on in the course of your day; you might be anticipating the evening ahead and considering what to prepare for dinner - wondering if you’ve got enough eggs left, and berating yourself for not stopping off at the shops.

You are in the past (caught up in what happened earlier in the day), or the future (making plans for the evening ahead); you are not in the NOW.

In fact the NOW is somewhere we frequently aren’t!

The NOW is where our bodies are and our minds often are not – even when they should be.

Think about yourself over the course of an ordinary day – where are your thoughts? How much time do you spend in the now? You may be surprised at how little!

The fact is we live a lot of our lives in the past (mulling over what has happened) and in the future (anticipating what will happen). The space between is often filled by actions that have become automatic by repetition and don’t require our conscious attention. So we pull onto the drive, turn the engine off, get out of the car, lock the car, go into the house … Somewhere between stepping inside, putting our bag down, seeing the post (Damn! Is that another bill) and walking through to the kitchen (I thought I told the girls to clear that stuff away last night!) we have put the car keys away – just one action in an unthinking sequence of actions. So when we need the car keys (and they’re not in the obvious place) we accuse our memory – “I have a terrible memory! I’m always losing my keys!”

But chances are you never gave your memory the opportunity to play its part. In order to recall something you need to have been aware of it in the first place. What all our supposed examples of bad memory have in common is that they arise from actions performed on automatic pilot – that is, without conscious awareness. They are, in fact, the result of not paying attention.

ATTENTION VERSUS MEMORY: You can demonstrate the difference between attention and memory and prove the point for yourself.

Next time you lock the car make a conscious effort to come into the now. Because you are trying to break a longstanding habit of non-awareness it may help to do something like snap your fingers or, if you can do this without feeling embarrassed, say out loud as you perform the action “I’m putting the keys [on the hall table, next to the vase of flowers]”.

Create a hook that will help you pull the information back out of your memory by imagining something weird and unusual (the exact opposite of the mundane and automatic). So if you put the keys by the vase of flowers on the hall table imagine that the flowers in the vase suddenly transform into keys. Engage as many of your senses as you can into this image – make the flower-keys huge and brightly coloured; imagine they have a strong scent, and a distinct texture.

So is your memory really bad? If you put the following tips into action and see an improvement then your memory is not guilty.

7 TIPS TO IMPROVE YOUR MEMORY

• Be aware of the difference between attention and memory

• Make a deliberate effort to come into the NOW

• Pay attention to what you need to fix in your memory

• Remember you need to alert your memory to what you want it to retain

• To bring you fully into the present add a physical cue like snapping your fingers or speaking out loud

• Hook the memory by creating an image that will stick in your mind and which establishes a strong association (as per our car keys and the hall table which associated the keys with the location).

• Make your image as strange, colourful, comic and bizarre as possible – your brain likes things which are unusual – let your IMAGINATION run amok.

Above all, don’t judge yourself (or your memory) too harshly! Understanding why you can’t recall something is the first step to doing something about improving your memory. So relax! Then take the necessary steps to work with your memory.

Do I still lose my car keys? Hand on heart - no, I don’t!

Barbara Chapman is founder and director of Learning Curve for Languages. After spending several years in Canada, where she successfully took her Master’s degree, she returned to the UK and continued her career teaching languages in the adult sector.

It is her many years’ experience of teaching languages in the workplace that has prompted her to deepen her knowledge of the processes of learning, and led to the formulation of her “stress-free” approach. Learning Curve for Languages is the result of her conviction that everyone has the potential to be a Perfect Learner - they just need to be shown how.

Contact Barbara at http://learningcurveforlanguages.co.uk

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Barbara_Chapman http://EzineArticles.com/?So-You-Think-Your-Memorys-Bad&id=495910

Imagery & Affirmations - Success Tools for Healing & Attracting Your Desires - Affirmations by KG Stiles

2007-03-20T07:49:00.000-07:00

1) Keep your affirmations brief like seed thoughts you are planting. Short positive declarations of your intent work best. Then water and feed them regularly so they will grow and flourish. Repeat them over and over again throughout your day.

2) The most important times to repeat affirmations is before sleep and on waking.

3) Record your affirmations on a voice recorder, relax into an Alpha state and play them on waking and when going to sleep. Your own voice is the most powerful for programming your subconscious mind as it is most receptive to your own voice.

4) Write out your affirmations in bold letters, laminate and post them in highly visible spots where you will see them frequently.

AFFIRMATIONS ARE POSITIVE SELF!

Through consistent repetition and action your visualizations and affirmations, which are your CLEAR FOCUSED INTENTIONS, will reprogram your mind. Willpower or force DOES NOT work as it precipitates tension and resistance. A relaxed state is optimal for giving your mind a new program that with repetition will become stronger and charged with more energy.

REPETITION is your key tool for activating new neuro links and neutralizing past programming. Your subconscious mind literally cannot reject anything impressed upon it. The achievement of goals HAPPENS at the subconscious level.

AFFIRMATIONS TO CANCEL WORRY – “I believe in the perfect outcome of every life situation!” OR “I am enjoying relaxing, letting go and trusting life to provide me with all I need to accomplish my life purpose.”

Join me for Imagery & Affirmations ~ Success Tools for Healing and Attracting Your Desires - Four Techniques for Creating Powerful Affirmations.

Aloha I'm KG Stiles a MindBody Therapist & Health Educator with advanced certification & training. For more than 30 years I've facilitated healing for thousands of people suffering from personal trauma, injury & illness and taught the practical tools necessary for maintaining a balanced, healthy state of well-being using imagery & affirmations. I developed the Seminar, Success Breakthroughs Using Imagery and Affirmations as a way for anyone to learn my easy step-by-step system for getting outstanding results using Imagery and Affirmations. Click to purchase CD SUCCESS BREAKTHROUGHS USING IMAGERY & AFFIRMATIONS Click to learn about KG’s CONSULTING SERVICES Click to learn about KG’s PRESENTATIONS & WORKSHOPS More Info? Contact: KG Stiles at Springhill Wellness Center, 2520 Springhill Drive Ashland, OR USA (541) 941-7315 Mahalo!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=KG_Stiles http://EzineArticles.com/?Imagery-and-Affirmations---Success-Tools-for-Healing-and-Attracting-Your-Desires---Affirmations&id=494955

The Biggest Single Confidence Killer by Elaine Sihera

2007-03-10T10:15:00.000-08:00

The desire to control is central to all of us. It is tied up with our need for security. Without control we feel lost and at sea, insecure and vulnerable. The need to control our future, our environment, the consequences of our actions, our children, homes, money and other people is what keeps us going. Personal confidence is increased if we believe we are 'in charge' and 'on top of things', i.e. in control. Once we have command of people and resources we are seen to have power.

But what is power, and is control the essence of power?

There are two types of power: personal and professional. Many people associate professional power with wealth, having the right connections or being able to influence the lives of a lot of people. In fact, real power is none of these because they are all transitory and depend on too many external factors for their maintenance. If you are rich, the money doesn't automatically give you power. It gives you the freedom and independence to decide your future, to establish your own lifestyle and possibly to recruit people to assist your endeavours. Your money may be able to help you to buy anything under the sun but you have limited power if there is just one person who could prevent you doing what you truly desire, or if your peers deny you respect.

Knowing the right connections, i.e. using other people to help you up, is no power at all. It is actually a tacit admission that you cannot make it on your own and ultimately renders you powerless because your future is always in the hands of others. There will be favours that you owe them so you will forever be obliged to them for their help. It might boost your status to be associated with a particular person or social group, but it robs you of real independence, personal pride and the will to succeed on your own. To remain in their favour, you have to play the rules of their game, which reduces your options appreciably and any influence you may have to decide your own actions.

Finally, being in charge of other people, even if you were president or prime minister, does not give you power per se. It would give you status and influence, but no real power. True professional power comes from authority; the authority granted by others which we can never take onto ourselves. Without it there is no power. For example, George Bush(USA) and Tony Blair(UK) might still be President and Prime Minister, but their power has been noticeably eroded since they've been in office because of their unpopular actions on the Iraq war. Their authority has been reduced because of those actions. Dictators have no authority to rule either and so take power by force. They can only maintain that power by continued force and repression because their action would have stirred deep resentment. The minute there is a slip, someone with real authority will be waiting to take over.

The Origins of Personal PowerPersonal power comes from being able to act upon choices and to make decisions which can affect your daily routine or your whole future. If you cannot make a decision which controls your own life, without someone else's approval, agreement or permission, you have very little power. If you cannot act upon the various options available, selecting the ones most suitable and beneficial for you and those who matter, you have no personal power. If you lack the belief in your abilities and the faith in your capacity to affect your life positively, you will be unable to fulfil your potential and you will feel powerless to act in influencing your direction.

Our level of confidence is also determined by the degree of control we believe we have over our situation, both personally and professionally. If we perceive ourselves to be impotent, having little power to change circumstances to suit ourselves, or to increase our personal enjoyment, we gradually lose confidence because others come to see that impotence too. With a loss of power comes the belief that we are not as good as others and that thought carries acute low self esteem with it.

Personal power is very important for building confidence and boosting self-esteem because it is the feeling of certaintly that we have the freedom to do anything we want, and the capacity and the means to do it, which makes us feel truly alive. The limits if such power are dictated by those who can stop us in our tracks. Absolute power comes from having the authority to act, yet not having to answer to any superior. On a personal basis, such power comes from a love of ourself, belief in our capabiities and the faith to know that everything is possible in our life.

A lack of personal power is thus the biggest killer of our confidence. It continually lowers our self esteem and keeps us in a state of weakness and impotence. In short, feeling powerless in our life keeps us invisible, vulnerable, unhappy, dependent and uncomfortably exposed.

ELAINE SIHERA (Ms Cyprah - http://www.myspace.com/elaineone and http://www.elainesihera.co.uk) is an expert author, public speaker, media contributor and columnist. The first Black graduate of the OU and a post-graduate of Cambridge University. Elaine is a CONFIDENCE guru and a consultant for Diversity Management, Personal Empowerment and Relationships. Author of: 10 Easy Steps to Growing Older Disgracefully; 10 Easy Steps to Finding Your Ideal Soulmate!; Money, Sex & Compromise and Managing the Diversity Maze, among others (available on http://www.amazon.co.uk as well as her personal website). Also the founder of the British Diversity Awards and the Windrush Men and Women of the Year Achievement Awards. She describes herself as, "Fit, Fabulous, Over-fifty and Ready to Fly!"

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Stand On Your Own Two Feet by Julie Eden

2007-03-05T09:05:00.000-08:00

Don’t ask advice from friends or acquaintances in solving personal problems. Each problem has usually two options for its solution. Weigh the pros and the cons of either side carefully and decide for the one which is the most advantages solution in your favour as the outcome of your decision. Your own decision, according to your own needs is always what are the best decisions and therefore the best for you. Some one else’s opinion is usually based on their personal outlook, conditioned by their personal experiences and therefore totally out of place for the solution of your own problem.

Do not depend on others to do your duties and jobs for you; thus meeting the obligations that are yours and yours alone. Depending on others for such and similar favours will make you always feel obliged and there fore you feel never truly free with the freedom that only comes with total independence and complete self-reliance.

Do not borrow from others! It is best to buy your own things or do without rather than live on borrowed money, goods and property which you know, you never own! Whilst honestly acquired possessions make you feel good or, being earned and therefore deserved!

Don’t borrow tools gadgets etc! Above all, never borrow money from your friends, because borrowing money can lead to the end of the friendship! If you must, in an emergency, borrow an item, return it promptly and undamaged, as otherwise the repeat of such neglect meets with resentment and eventual refusal and your friends loss of respect for you.

When such favours from someone else are taken advantage of, make sure you repay same with an equal favour or reward (like a useful gift), as this neutralises your obligation, which you incurred in the first place through accepting the favour.

It is advisable to get into habits of independent ways as a trait of ones personality. It makes the personality stronger and earning greater admiration and respect, in preference to someone who is constantly dependent on others and thus gives the impression of the total absence of a “self” to rely on, which usually also results in a slothful, not caring person, drifting on – whichever the wind blows – a breeze without direction and purpose!

Self reliance is like a fortress within you is something to depend on! Hang onto! And get strength from for meaning and purpose in ones own life. It also helps with the increase of confidence and self assurance in ones demeanour and the confidence and self assurance in ones decisions and consequent actions.

Remember that everything in life (and our association with others) has its price. Pay as you go, or do not incur “debts”, because one way or another – sooner or later you pay the price!

People who always serve you in some way or another soon tend to run your life and sometimes can give you the feeling that they own you! It is best to be free and stand on ones own two feet in every respect rather than be enslaved through habitual dependence on others!

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The small change that creates massive results in your life. by Deon Du Plessis

2007-02-23T18:09:00.000-08:00

"It is never too late to become what you might have been." - GEORGE ELIOT

I believe that we all reach certain key points in our lives. We all reach crossroads where our lives hit a certain threshold of "pain" that we are no longer willing to settle for. This threshold is very different for every person. I also believe that if you are unhappy with anything in your life then that is a call to action; a desire from deep within the "real" you that wants to experience more of life.

This can be very challenging for a lot of people as they have this urge to improve their lives but they don't have an effective strategy. They then do the "logical" thing which is to work on the effects instead of the cause. Here is a simple thought process that will be a wake up call to you if you feel like you are spinning your wheels.

For my life to get better I have to get better. For things to change I have to change. I am mine. This is my life and I am the creator of my destiny.

I can change any and everything in my life by simply changing myself. This puts me in the driving seat of my life and makes my life my responsibility. It eliminates fear and apprehension for I know that no matter what life gives me I can always get to the next level and take the next step by simply making the internal shift in my own psychology.

I can stop looking for events, people and circumstances to blame. I only need to look inside. No matter how influential you are you cannot control the circumstances and events of your life. There are only three things over which you have absolute and total control and these are all you need. It forms the total experience of life. My thoughts, my actions and my words are always under my conscious control. They are MY thoughts, they are MY actions and they are MY words AND they create MY world every minute of every day.

This is incredibly liberating. Whenever I want to have more, experience more or change anything, I need only look inwards and work on myself. Jim Rohn once said that the hardest work you will ever do is the work you do on yourself. See, you can run around and work incredibly hard at trying to influence and change circumstances, but that will only make you tired and discourage your future efforts. It's much easier to change yourself and your perception of yourself and your life. Nothing has any meaning except for the meaning you give it.

Changing external events have very little impact in your life on the long term. Small changes in you; in your perceptions and psychology might seem insignificant at first, but because the change is in you it effects all of your thoughts, all of your actions and all of your words. This seemingly insignificant change, over time changes the whole direction and end destination of your life. If a captain of a ship changes direction just one degree the end destination might be a different continent all together. Like the captain changing his course by one degree it might be unnoticeable over a short period of time, but over greater distances the small change becomes very significant.

Most people try and change the big things; they constantly try and change any and everything in their lives, but they then fail to maintain the change. Instead, making small consistent changes in yourself, in your own character you can create phenomenal results. All change starts and ends with you. If you are going to invest the time and effort to improve your life, then invest it in changing yourself. Invest your time and effort in improving "you" and let go of the superficial urges to control events and circumstances. Your whole perception and experience of life comes from you and who you are. Change yourself, improve your character and just watch the world improve and change before your very eyes.

About the Author

Deon Du Plessis is the creator of A Course of Action, a free e-course designed to empower you to break through your limitations, take action and transform your ideas into reality. Visit The Self Improvement Gym for mor

The 3 Most Prominent Personal Growth Barriers by Deon Du Plessis

2007-02-17T08:42:00.000-08:00

What’s the deal with all this personal growth and self development business? Why bother in the first place? Charles Atlas who earned himself the title as the ‘the world's most perfectly developed man’ had this to say: ‘Truest SUCCESS is but the development of self.’

It’s so easy to treat personal development as ‘optional’ and so few people ever take the time to actively improve themselves. Your personal growth and self development is arguably one of the most important thing you can do with your time. You can even argue that to actualize your true potential is the purpose of being here. In many ways all your actions are geared towards ‘self improvement’. Everything you do, you do with a positive intent. This, however is mostly unconscious and for the majority of people it’s a case of pursuing ‘things’ and ‘stuff’ with the (all to common) assumption that when they get enough stuff they will be happy.

You don’t have to search too far to find just how wrong this theory really is. Every day we read about ‘extremely successful’ people who end up in rehab or who kill themselves. Why? To return to Charles Atlas – true success is but the development of your ‘self’. At no point in your life can you just stop and say ‘now I am successful – I think I’ll take the next 10 years off’. Unfortunately this is ‘the dream’ that so many people aspire to.

The key to a lifetime of happiness lies in personal growth. Real and lasting fulfillment in life comes from consistently improving the quality of your life. Life is dynamic and it has to keep moving. Like in nature, everything that does not grow, dies! You will either grow or die, and although you probably won’t die a physical death, you most certainly will suffer a psychological death. Depression is but one example of the effects of failing to grow as a person. If you are not growing you will feel like you are dying.

Every day life hands us opportunities to grow. They are mostly disguised as problems and unfortunately most people curse them instead of seeing the wonderful opportunities that they present. Earl Schoff once said ‘Don’t wish for less problems. Wish that you were better’. This is where personal growth comes to play and you must do it on purpose and with an active state of mind.

So why do people fail to actively participate in their own personal growth? Well, there are certain personal growth barriers that prevent them from actively progressing in any area of your life. The key word being ‘actively’. The three biggest personal growth barriers are three interrelated behaviours that tend to keep us immobilized and locked up in inaction. The result being the failure to progress with our lives.

Personal Growth Barrier #1: ProcrastinationProcrastination is the irrational delay of tasks, especially important ones. On a conscious level you might want a specific result and you know what course of action to take, but still you remain immobilized. The failure to act is what keeps you where you are. It is likely that what you are procrastinating about is what you MUST do as this will help you grow in your ability to take action and just do it. Keep in mind that you only procrastinate about tasks that you value and at some level you know you will benefit from it.

Personal Growth Barrier #2: IndecisionEvery single action is preceded by a decision. The ancestor to every action is a decision and the failure to act can be traced back to the failure to make decisions. The ironic thing is that not making a decision is a decision - isn’t it? Indecision is like a disease that you have to eradicate from your life. Indecision is simply the result of a fear of failure and by not making a decision you can’t fail – right? Realize that nothing in the future has happened yet and fearing the worse possible outcome will almost certainly keep you from making the decision. If you don’t make the decisions you won’t take the actions and you will remain immobilized.

Personal Growth Barrier #3: Comfort ZonesComfort zones are all those things that you are too familiar with – and often to the point where you don’t even attempt anything else. Inside your comfort zones everything is known and you have this sense of certainty that you can comfortably deal with anything that comes your way. You’ve done it before and you feel ‘at ease’ with it. Stepping outside your comfort zones challenge your beliefs and it challenges your perceptions. Stepping outside your comfort zones however, challenges you to grow as a person – you have to grow to get comfortable outside your old comfort zone. Most of your limitations are self imposed and controlled by what you belief you can or cannot do, what you like or dislike, what you think is right or wrong. You have to keep stretching your ‘self’ physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually to avoid standing still and remaining imprisoned by your comfort zones. Oliver Wendell Holmes once said ‘Man's mind, once stretched to new idea never goes back to it's original dimensions.’

All barriers are only that – they are barriers. It often strikes me how these typical vehicle barriers at boarder check points are so ‘flimsy’. They can hardly stop a bicycle, yet they stop big sixteen wheelers. The barrier is more psychological than actual. So are the barriers to your personal growth. They can stop you, but they can’t keep you unless you allow them to. Simply acknowledge them and then move on. Personal growth is a choice and it’s an active process. To ensure a happy and fulfilled life that is filled with joy and appreciation you have to consistently grow and expand your ‘self’.

To move past your barriers, sign up for Deon Du Plessis’ revealing new Course (free) and discover some of his highly effective strategies for overcoming procrastination and indecision. http://www.Overcoming-Procrastination.com

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How To Develop Intuition by Steve Polk

2007-02-04T17:56:00.000-08:00

Have you had that experience when all of a sudden you just had this huge hunch that something is about to happen, and to your surprise,that intuition was eventually translated to reality?

When you feel strongly about something without logical basis to it,that's called intuition. It comes in three impressions: clairvoyance or "the third eye", sensing clearly and feeling through listening.

Clairvoyance is when your eye goes beyond what it can see. This is when you know what is happening somewhere.

Sensing clearly is basically what we refer to as "hunch" or"gut feel." This is the time when you are overwhelmed with af eeling and you can't explain it and all you can say is "I just know."

On the other hand, feeling through listening or clairaudience is being able to "listen" between the lines. Intuition also happens at times when a certain sound, whatever it is - be it a car's honk or a bird's twitting - ushers in an intense feeling.

They say only a number of people are gifted with intuition. Astrologers even insist that people born under the Scorpio or Pisces signs are naturally intuitive it almost borders on E.S.P. But studies have been sprouting left and right thatproclaim that anyonecan develop intuition.

Why the need to develop intuition, you ask? Why not let your emotional and psychological state as it is? First and foremost, intuition promotes good communication. It makes you more sensitive to the people around you; it often keeps you from hurting those you love because you are intuitive enough to understand them. Intuition also makes you far more creative than ever. Intuition means releasing more creative juices for anymeans of expression. Lastly, intuition has a healing power. This healing power is not in the physical sense, but in delving deep into your soul to eradicate some negative energy buried in it.

With that being said, are you ready to develop your intuition? Here are some ways to unlock this gift:

1. Hypnosis

Oh yes, get yourself hypnotized. Hypnosis is not limited to watching a pendulum move back and forth. Perform self-hypnosis or you can avail of hypnotic programs that can strengthen your intuition.

2. Meditation

Meditating means finding peace in yourself. If your mind and heart are cluttered with too much baggage and hurt, you wouldn't be able to quiet down that part of you that could eventually initiate intuition. There are so many ways to meditate: take a yoga class, or just simply practice some breathing that could bring you straight to Zen.

3. Think positive!

A worry-free, fear-free state could do so much to improve your intuitive ability. By staying positive, you attract good energy that would be able to easily recognize imminent feelings and events.

4. Just let go.

What does this mean? If you are on the brink of making a hugedecision, let go of all the inhibitions and head toa quiet placewhere you could find out where the letting go has brought you. Sometimes you just have to listen to the voice within you, and that voice wouldn't come out unless you let go.

5. Never expect.

After letting go of the inhibitions and all those things that stop you from thinking and feeling clearly, never expect for an answer right away. Never expect that the"hunch" would fall on your lap immediately. Give it a little time then you'd just get surprised that -- wham! -- now you have your answer.

About the author: Steve Polk produces articles of interest for those seeking todevelop intuition and intellegence quickily. Please visithttp://www.becomecreative.com for more tips.

Dreams Plus Deadlines Equal Dynamite by Susan K Minarik

2007-01-27T15:15:00.000-08:00

Got dreams? Want to make them real? There’s nothing like a deadline to harness a dream’s mighty power.

Dreams are like Pegasus, the beautiful winged horse from Greek mythology, sailing the someday skies of our imaginations. We can watch their flight as entertaining fantasies, as escapes from a life that we wish could be more. Or we can harness them and ride them into reality in our lives. And the golden harness that lets us ride them into the real world of the here and now is a deadline.

A deadline is the when that brings the dream from the ethereal to earth. It carries it into the realm of time, and it does it explosively. A deadline signifies that you have made a definite decision and are ready to saddle up and ride.

Making a resolution to lose ten pounds is dreaming about the slimmer self you want to be. Saying “I’m going to lose ten pounds by the end of March” means when April comes, you’ll actually see that slimmer self in the mirror.

Once you place a dream in your timeline, your focus gets honed. You can comprehend the necessity for a plan and for action. Your subconscious starts directing your attention to opportunities. And the universe starts bringing them to you.

Putting a deadline on your dream activates your will. It sets up a challenge for you and gets your juices flowing. Instead of saying “I wish I could,” you begin asking “How can I?” And that’s the question that makes all the difference in the world, because once you start asking it, your whole mind will be open to seeing the answers. And the world will start serving them up to you.

A dream with a deadline takes on a sense of urgency and excitement. It fills you with motivation to set interim goals for acquiring whatever resources, ideas, information, skills or contacts that you need, and to follow through on them because you have a purpose to fulfill.

A dream with a deadline gives direction and meaning to your days. Time becomes precious and you leave behind all the activities you did merely to kill it. Even in your leisure activities, you find that you’re alert to signals that play into realizing your dream.

Committing to a deadline gives you courage and strength when obstacles appear. It pushes you to fire your imagination up a notch when you have to find a way past them. It lifts you from complacency to determination.

So grab your best dream and bring it down to earth. Harness it with a deadline. And have a glorious ride!

Want to learn more about realizing your dreams? You can subscribe to Susan’s free newsletter “The Magical Mirror,” find top dream-builder resources, and read success tips for creating life the way you want it to be at http://www.thetomorrowgame.com

Susan K. Minarik has been involved in the personal achievement field for over 20 years and is the author of “Winning the Tomorrow Game: How to Discover and Create the Life of Your Dreams.”

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Subconscious Mind Power By Steven Gillman

2007-01-15T17:08:00.000-08:00

What is subconscious mind power? It can be something as simple as automatically smiling when you meet a person, and so improving the odds of getting what you want from that person. It can be the way you unconsciously approach a problem and solve it. Essentially, it is the power that comes from good programming of your mind.

How do you program your mind, so you'll have more subconscious mind power? Consciously, one step at a time. First, you learn a new technique or "program," and then you use it consciously until it becomes automatic - an unconscious habit. A couple examples follow.

Use Subconscious Mind Power To Develop Rapport

Speak to someone at the same speed they speak, and they will feel more at ease with you. Mirror their expressions and body position, and they will also feel more comfortable with you. There are dozens of simple techniques like these that salesmen use to develop rapport with customers. They work in all areas of life, though, not just when selling a product.

Of course, you'll likely get confused if you try to remember and use ten of these techniques when you meet someone. You may even annoy the person. To make the whole process more smooth, you need to train yourself in a technique or two at a time, until they become automatic. Then start working on the next technique. Soon you will be subconsciously doing what needs to be done to have good rapport with the people you meet. That's subconscious mind power.

Intuition Power

Einstein relied heavily on intuitive hunches. Gary Kasparov can beat the best chess computer even though the computer can calculate positions many moves further ahead. Experience allows him to combine analysis with a "sense" of which move is best. These are great examples of the power of intuition.

Your skill, knowledge and experience determine the potential effectiveness of your intuition. A weak chess player will never intuitively beat that computer. Having enough good information in your mind is the first important part of intuition, then.

However, to regularly benefit from your intuitive mind power, you have to encourage it. Start by watching for it. Stop during problem solving, and note any feelings or hunches you have. Note when your hunches are good ones and when they seem to be just random feelings. Do this until the whole process becomes a habit, and you'll begin to have more intuition.

The Key To Subconscious Mind Power

Just from these two examples, you can see how you can benefit from "programming" your mind. Even training yourself to regularly ask a simple question, like "How can I best use my time right now," can be very useful. The key is to simply find any technique that works when you use it consciously, and then use it daily (carry a reminder if you have to) until it becomes an unconscious habit. This is how you develop your subconscious mind power.

Copyright Steve Gillman. For more on How To Increase Brain Power, and to get the Brain Power Newsletter and other free gifts, visit:
http://www.IncreaseBrainPower.com

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The Path of Least Resistance! By Dr. Sheri Rosenthal

2007-01-09T07:40:00.000-08:00

Article:
One thing I have observed over the years is how often humans move against the flow of life and suffer. If you watch the animals and creatures that share our earth, you will notice that they follow the lead of life. By that I mean that they go where there is food, water, shelter and other animals to mate with. They do not fight life by deciding that they want things the way they want them, because if they did so they would die. But humans, on the other hand, have used their knowledge to do their best to outwit Mother Nature. We get an idea in our minds and insist on making that happen "come hell or high water."

In the end, we find ourselves fighting life, in resistance, draining our energy and personal power. More often than not, we want life to revolve around us because we are scared of change. We think that by trying to make things go our way we can avoid being challenged in life. Unfortunately(or perhaps fortunately!), life does not work that way. Yes, we can set our intent to create certain outcomes in life; however, when life is obviously taking us down a different road, we must make the choice to let go of our expectations and surrender. The bottom line is that everything in life follows the path of least resistance. It is the way that power is conserved in the universe and used wisely. When you go against this natural rule,you will suffer in the end. Knowing this, at the end of every year, I like to recapitulate my year's creation and observe where I was in alignment with life - or not. Awareness and searing honesty are two tools I use to have clarity in this task. Consider asking yourself the following questions to help you evaluate your level of resistance to life:

1- Are you in a relationship that needs to end, but you have been making up excuses and stories to avoid taking the action you know you need to take?

2- Are you unhappy at your current job, but you are too afraid to leave because you do not have another job lined up, or you are afraid you cannot duplicate your current income?

3- Are you living in an area that is not supportive of your peace and centeredness, but you are staying because you are too lazy to move or not sure where you would rather go?

4- Are you trying to make the people in your life change rather than changing yourself? Are you finding yourself frustrated with your attempts to make others understand you, or are you frustrated because you cannot get them to do what you want them to do?

If you can say yes, to any of the above, then it is time to get honest with yourself. Rather than telling yourself stories, take responsibility for your creation and make a commitment to yourself to take action. So what's the action to take? Well, it is to let go of everything you are holding so tightly to, and follow the lead of life. Stop trying to change people and control situations. See the "what is" in life and let go of the way you want things to be. Most everyone has a fear of the unknown or change, but that fear does not have to immobilize us. Our fear is simply an emotional reaction to our ego-mindworrying about what could go "wrong" or about "failing." Stop all that fear-based internal dialogue, let go and trust life, and let go of your resistance. You will be a lot happier for it- you can bet on it!

About the author:
Dr. Sheri Rosenthal is a master Toltec teacher and author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Toltec Wisdom and WITH Forgiveness. Having trained with don Miguel Ruiz, author of The FourAgreements, she currently takes students on spiritual journeys, works with personal apprentices and enjoys being extremelyhappy. You can reach her at http://www.sherirosenthal.com,http://www.journeysofthespirit.com and http://www.withforgiveness.com.

Relational Power Manifest By Rion Williams

2007-01-03T12:40:00.000-08:00

Is there a shortcut to true power and character change? After all, the women you desire are primordially testing you on your relational power and expect any man they'll sleep with to be at least equal in relational power to them.

If he is 'comfortable in his own skin' or equal or greater in power and 'being' in relation to HER, THEN she can open up to him because she can trust his nonverbal physical congruence.
(As humans) we are each and all relationally equal, we just let different types of less than ideal relationships to happen to us.

That's why you've not gotten the success you've wanted in the past. Mating today is primarily about relational power..it's a power game upfront now and that's all.

Pass that test (continually and habitually) by just accepting your own independent and relational power and you will massively attract women more than any pheromones.
We are all relational equals.

If you want to enhance your 'inner game' I recommend leveraging truth itself because when you have cognition of truth and accept it, it's power can easily extend beyond belief and beyond your own limitations.

You could repeat something like this..make it an incantation if you will.
"I am relationally equal to the most beautiful and powerful people on earth because I am one. They are one."

The leverage of truth is a shortcut to strong physiological change.
You can harness it because it's power is much greater than anyone's own personality or uniqueness.

As human's we are each a living miracle. We are each comprised of miraculous internal interdependent systems and astounding facts that support our life.
And that alone is tremendous value.

You can be a Brad Pitt, Bill Gates, Nelly Furtado or the guy down the hall yet we are all human. We all have the same basic biological necessities such as food, water and defecation (had to say it).

We are 'one' in that sense and as humans we are each equal. Each of us has unlimited potential to influences others through relationships of all sorts.

The amazing secret to power and success with women is to always remain relationally equal to all people at all times, before you would ever approach them.

That means that you are ALWAYS comfortable in your own skin because you won't allow any perceptions, co-dependencies, coercions or dis-empowerment to get in the way of your power.

When you can accept your true relational power, you will be comfortable not only in your own skin when you're around yourself but also when you're around the most powerful people.

They will notice and they will respect you. You physiology will continue to convey that you only see them as an equal. That's how powerful relationships can begin.

Other people of power have to 'trust you' in order to open a relationship up with you that means anything. The same thing goes with women.

If you don't have relational power or power in 'relation to' a hot, sexy woman when you are in front of her and nonverbally/verbally communicating, you're already losing.
She unconsciously and instantly pegs you as below her when she won't open up to anyone unless he is at least an equal.

Once she can see that you have physical congruence and your body represents the strength of your reality that you aren't afraid of or intimidated by (the power she represents and) her, THEN she can start being more interested in you.

She has to trust you to be comfortable in your own skin, then it's quite easy to accelerate and develop a relationship from there.

Once you represent relational power, then S.O.N.A.R.R. will commence and the relationship can proceed to the aspect you want it to be in; that of stimulus-response or growing attraction to you.

Relational power goes beyond personal authority and 'inner game' because it represents the truth of who you are in relationship to a woman and when it comes to sex or ever getting any, that is ALL that matters here.

Many a man have strong inner beliefs and self-esteem but they crack down and start becoming nervous and shifty when they 'response' to a beautiful woman. That relational truth is quite apparent to her and it doesn't matter what words his mouth is saying.

All that matters is who he is in FRONT OF HER and in continuing to communicate to her so she can determine whether she can further be attracted to him. THAT is relational power. It's basically REMAINING high in character and actually BEING yourself at all times around all people.

Don't even think of 'acting' it; it's a waste of time, wrong mindset completely and will get you rejected.

Female intuition will see through to the truth (in an open and non-socially distorted environment or when isolated with her), although they'll often give leeway to guys who are in between and/or working on it (not seduction, but character building who have some quality attributes of higher character).

So when it comes to attraction and seducing women (in a win/win way), learn to truly BE comfortable in your own skin. BE that guy who never gives up his power when he is around other people and all of a sudden you're powerful too!

Then it's easy to just be 'natural' around anyone and take relational authority to tell a good story and get people laughing and more interested in you, especially the women.

Rion Williams is one of the foremost experts in dating advice, personal power and relational dynamics. He is well-known within the seduction community itself.

His work focuses on the regaining and improving of real character within frustrated men who do don't want to 'act', use pick-up lines or techniques to get women.

He teaches modern men how to truly be natural and comfortable in their own skin to consistently succeed with women, attraction and dating. You can sign up for his free eZines and find out more information at http://www.relationaldynamics.org/
He also has a free podcast at http://www.lifestyledatingradio.com/
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rion_Williams

Powerful Tool for Personal Change: Self Hypnosis Simplified by Stephanie Brail

2006-12-25T21:57:00.000-08:00

Self hypnosis can be a potent, powerful tool for change, but what is it and how does it work?

I first learned about self hypnosis when I was studying hypnotherapy. Even though I was capable of hypnotizing others, I was still confused about self hypnosis. How on earth could someone put themselves into a trance state in the same way a professional hypnotist might?

Some of what I read about self hypnosis included complicated instructions on putting yourself into a trance and then making suggestions to yourself. Were you supposed to say the suggestions out loud? How could you make suggestions to yourself if you were hypnotized? It hardly seemed easy, much less relaxing, to me.

The truth is, self hypnosis is actually quite simple. Self hypnosis is a natural state for human beings to be in. We all enter into a light trance before falling asleep. You also may be experiencing light trances throughout the day, for example, when you daydream, watch TV, or even drive your car. (Yes, when you drive your car. Have you ever driven for a while and then realized you had gone on "automatic"? It's not that you were falling asleep, but you went into a light trance while driving.)

Information on self hypnosis, however, can sometimes be confusing. You might hear that self hypnosis requires a lot of discipline, and clinical words like "induction" may be used. An "induction," by the way, is simply a process to put someone into the hypnotic state. Standard inductions include counting down numbers and/or relaxing your body from head to toe.

I will define self hypnosis as the process of putting yourself into a light trance state for the purposes of stress reduction, relaxation, and self improvement. While some consider listening to hypnosis CDs "self hypnosis," I'm not counting that type of hypnosis as "self hypnosis." Certainly, creating hypnosis audios for yourself is a good idea, if you are so inclined and equipped, but that is still using an external prop.

Self hypnosis, as I will teach it to you, will not require another person or external supports such as electronic equipment and audio files. It is something you can do anywhere, as long as you have a quiet, safe place to relax.

So how does it work?

Self hypnosis, in essence, is a form of meditation. Hypnotherapists sometimes don't like to use that term (maybe because it has too many New Age connotations), but it is simply a form of meditation or visualization. The difference between self hypnosis and standard meditation is this: In meditation, you are clearing your mind completely. In self hypnosis, you are actively filling your mind by focusing on what you want in your life.

Do not worry that you need to bring yourself into a deep trance using a special "induction" or other process. All you need to do is calm your mind and then replace your normal, negative thoughts with more positive ones.

The following method of self hypnosis is quite simple:

1. Get comfortable. Sit in a comfortable chair or lie down. (If you lie down, you might end up falling asleep, but that isn't a bad thing if you are doing this before bedtime or if you want a nap as a bonus.) Those experienced with meditation can also use a meditation cushion and a standard meditative pose.

2. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.

3. Focus on your breathing as you relax your body.

4. Now, repeat in your mind the statement or statements that you want to inject into your subconscious mind. If these sound like affirmations, they are! However, by repeating them in a meditative, hypnotic state, they will have much more power than if you just repeated them normally.

A good hypnotic statement is simple, positive, and stated in the present tense. For example, if you want to exercise more to lose weight, you might state:

"I exercise daily. I love to exercise."

It is much better to make a positive statement than a negative one. Do not say:
"I am not fat." This is a negative statement of denial.

Instead, say:
"My body is now fit and healthy."
Or:
"I let go of my excess weight."

Try to use statements that are achievable and believable to you. Start with more attainable goals and then stretch to bigger goals. Do not tell yourself you are going to lose 100 pounds if that doesn't feel believable to you. Start with 10 or 20. Also, try to focus on one major goal at a time rather than 20 different ones. Give yourself about 30 days for each new goal.

You can, of course, embellish that simplified self hypnosis process by using guided visualization.
For example, if you want to lose weight, picture yourself in your mind as a thinner, healthier you.

You do not need to spend much time each day doing your self hypnosis. It is better to do five minutes daily than one hour per month. Do not worry about getting into a deep trance state or whether you are actually hypnotized or not. You should find, with repeated practice, that using this technique will improve your situation as well as your overall mood and outlook.

Best of all, self hypnosis costs nothing! You've got nothing to lose, except your old bad habits.

For more information on self hypnosis, see: http://www.happyhypnosis.com

About the Author
Stephanie Brail publishes a number of websites related to self improvement, including HappyHypnosis (http://www.happyhypnosis.com), MagicMasterMind (http://www.magicmastermind.com), and OnCoaching (http://www.oncoaching.com).

How To Get Answers To Anything by Saleem Rana

2006-12-24T20:44:00.000-08:00

Life has a way of working itself out. In the process of living your life, things have a way of resolving themselves.

Another way of saying this is "ask and receive."

Of course, to the logical, sequential-processing, fact-based mind, this makes no sense at all. It sounds like airy-fairy nonsense, mere wishful thinking.

How does it happen? Is it divine intervention, the presence of angels, or the subconscious mind suddenly paying attention?

I really don't know. I can tell you the process and you can apply your favorite explanation.

Here are the five steps:

One, ask for a solution to a current problem.

Two, envision a happy outcome.

Three, trust that an answer will show up

Four, let it go.

Five, the answer will appear.

I'll give you an example. I was wondering how anything could be understood because the nature of all things is infinitely complex. Was it ever possible to have a theory of everything?

That same day, in the evening, I stumbled upon how Albert Einstein had spent his life pursing the same question.

After his General and Special Theory, his dream was to find a theory of everything, a unified field theory. He believed in an elegant theory, where gravitation and electro-magnetism could be united.

Unfortunately, what rudely disrupted his plans was the eruption of Quantum Mechanics, where elegance was not the norm and subatomic elements could either be observed or measured, but not both.

Quantum Mechanics posited two more forces, the strong force and the weak force. The strong force is what holds an atomic nucleus together and a weak force is what is responsible for radioactive decay.

Well, now, not one, but two theories of everything coexisted. One for the world of the very large, planetary bodies. And one for the world of the very small, subatomic particles. Albert Einstein died a puzzled man. He could not figure out how to unite gravity, the force created on a planet because of a curvature in space-time as it traveled around its sun, with electro-magnetism, the forces of light, electricity, and magnetism, with the strong force, the "glue" that bound protons and neutrons together in a nucleus, and the weak force, the force that was responsible for radioactive decay.

How could a theory of everything work on the scale of the very large yet fail on the scale of the very small? How could the elegant laws that governed the planetary bodies and systems of the universe fail to have any application in the world of electrons spinning around a nucleus? (Initially, when scientists had perceived the atom as a "miniature" solar system, this problem was not observed; but after learning how to split atoms, this model was considered nonsensical, because only probability patterns of energy existed at the subatomic level.)

How could the theory of everything have two completely different theories? It would be like a one way street where the signs pointed in both directions or a traffic light which had all three colors on at the same time.

"God does not play dice," he declared. But according to experiment after experiment in Quantum Mechanics, that is all that He did all day long.

Half a century after he died, however, along came String Theory, which posited that there was even something smaller than a quark and that it was a string, a vibrating string of energy that functioned in multiple dimensions to create the subatomic particles that could be observed. The entire universe, then, was an orchestra, a vibration at the level of the infinitesimally small, that played out different frequencies to create different constituents of things.

This debate, of course, is still continuing, with many physicists believing that since String Theory could never be experimentally verified (because the size of vibrating strings were infinitesimally small) that it was not valid, and more philosophy than science.
The point of this discussion, however, is that answers started showing up after I had asked the question..

I asked what I consider to be an impossible question. Can one understand everything? Is such a thing even possible? . Then to my surprise, through a series of coincidences, I found that not only was my question not original but that this entire phenomena of the universe could be broken down into a quest for a handful of unifying principles.

I actually developed the steps afterwards, through recapitulation of these events.
The only way to prove it, of course, is to try it. Then you will see the evidence for yourself. Follow the five steps. Something will happen. I found a whole stream of answers to my impossible question; imagine how much easier it would be to get the answer to a practical problem.

About the Author Saleem Rana would love to share his inspiring ideas His book Never Ever Give Up tells you how. It is offered at no cost as a way to help YOU succeed. The Empowered Soul